Morning Workout, Let’s Go!

Good Morning!Ok, put that coffee cup in your hand and lift, lift, lift and sip!  You got it! Good job! 12 More reps and you’re good to go!

Today is one of those days where I’m just not feeling the urge to exercise. I really wore myself out last night and um, I have laundry to do and there’s some lint on this sweater that really needs some picking off. I’m going to pray I can talk myself into it tonight.

[UPDATE] I made it to the gym! sweet

How Many More Times Is This Going To Be Forwarded To Me

with the sendee insisting it’s a real machine? It’s computer animation people. It’s cool, but it ain’t real.

Napoleon Dynamite Is More Coordinated Than I Am.

I went to the gym today and did my usual Body Pump class (which is 55 minutes long), but I got cocky (or panicked that I won’t reach my goal by the end of March) so I decided to take the BodyJam class (video posted below) right afterwards.

Um yeah, I suck.

I thought I was pretty clever going to the back of the class so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of everybody. Unfortunately all the other uncoordinated people had the same idea. It was hard enough trying to keep my own rhythm and avoid the spacey, fruit-loop, retard who kept bumping into me. I had to move out of her way three times. Finally I just went to a completely different area, but somehow she found me again. Bump!

 My body does not move the way the instructor wanted it to. My hips are not slinky, I don’t think they’ve ever been. I’m more of a short and compact kind of chick. I’m not fluid. The worst part is the instructor was trying be nice and help me, but because of this she was making me the center of attention.

I got excited when we started because they played Canned Heat and began doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance.  I’m thinking, “yeah, I can do this, sweet.” No, no I freaking can’t. Even Napoleon Dynamite is more coordinated than I am.

I was 30min. into a 55 min. class and decided I was going to sneak out. Oh no, the instructor was not gonna let me sneak out. She had to announce that I was sneaking out by saying, “Oh are you sneaking out?”. Why yes, teacher, yes I am, thank you very much. Oh well, live and learn, maybe I’ll take that class another time, but for now I’ll stick to BodyPump and BodyStep classes.

The song below is Shakira-Hips Don’t Lie. It reminds me of back in the day when I used to go to this club called Cafe Sevilla in downtown San Diego and take their Salsa and Merengue classes. Oh I had so much fun. I would always get picked over and my girlfriends would get the cute, young boys, but I didn’t care because the old men were the ones who knew how to dance. They had it going on. They were the ones I got and I’m glad. (no it’s not because I was a dork, shut up!)

All Right, Fess Up!

Which one of you guys made these a search term to find my blog?

Search Views
spandex 4
fathead raw people 1
is almonds good for sex 1

I think it’s someone who’s name rhymes with posetta.

I Love To Look Up The Search Terms People Entered To Find This Blog

Search Views
spandex 6
workout outfit 2
chocolate main dish 1
drinking milk straight from boob 1
milkshake brings all the boys to the yar 1
“cows milk ” heroin 1
Spandex 1
rotten milk benefits 1

Bet they’re disappointed.

I Wish I Was As Fat Now As I Thought I Was Back Then

lafonda.jpg

Go ahead and make fun of the big hair, I can take it. I’ll be less

squishy at the end of March however. Sweet!

Nuts Are Good For Sex

 I might have found a solution for all you guys out there having a hard time attracting the ladies:

Almonds can help boost the sex drive.The kernel of Indian almond was not only shown to have aphrodisiac activity, it is also useful in the treatment of some forms of sexual inadequacies (premature ejaculation). Additionally, in Sicily, it is also used to make sweet liqueur and even almond-flavored wines, both thought to be an aphrodisiac. In some cultures also, they are associated with passion and fertility. Their aroma is alleged to excite women and is therefore a common ingredient in creams and soaps; hence, in the bible, Samson courted Delilah with fragrant almond branches and was able to attract her.

After you put the raw almonds to good use, will you be able to handle the hordes of women coming after you? Will you have the energy to handle this influx? It just so happens that today is your lucky day, because nuts can help you with that too. Raw almonds  not only give you the energy to get it on, they can help you live longer too.

Almonds are a cholesterol-free food, low in saturated fat and high in monounsaturated fat (the good kind). They are an excellent source of the antioxidant vitamin E, which may help prevent free radical damage after workouts. Almonds also contain protein, magnesium, riboflavin and phosphorus. A recent study in the American Heart Association journal, Circulation, showed that eating a handful or two of almonds everyday can help maintain normal cholesterol levels and that almonds favorably affected the ratio of HDL (good) to LDL (bad cholesterol).

Looks like almonds would be the perfect aphrodisiac for you and your new sweety, but I wouldn’t recommend almonds for Valentine’s Day unless of course they’re chocolate covered.

Here’s a link if you’re interested in the health benefits of other nuts.