Breakfast On The Warrior Diet

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I have been inspired by people to take up a different attitude this year. Now mind you, my New Year’s resolution was  to become a drunk. I was going strong on this resolution. In fact, I was so enthused I started it early. Problem was, I was not feeling so hot.

Mesablue and Lauraw decided to quit smoking and sohos has decided to lose 30 lbs. so I started thinking, what can I do to make my life suck and the lives of others around me a living hell?

The answer came by way of my dear old dad. Whenever my dad comes to visit he generously downloads multiple programs, books and software on my computer. These never slow my computer down. Ever. And I never delete any of these things. Ever. One of the new treasures downloaded to my computer was a book that happened to catch my eye. “The Warrior Diet” by Ori Hofmekler.  

“The Warrior Diet” presents a brilliant synthesis of modern scientific research and ancient time-tested secrets for reducing body fat, gaining energy, getting stronger, and looking younger. Our problem, according to Ori Hofmekler, is that we have lost touch with the natural wisdom of our instinctual drives. We have become the slaves of our own creature comforts. The result: ill-advised eating and lifestyle habits that leave us vulnerable to all manner of disease-not to mention unwanted flab, premature wrinkling, and a sagging, weak, unattractive body. The first step is to break the chains of our current eating habits.”The Warrior Diet” proves that humans are at their energetic, physical, mental, and passionate best when the “under-eat” during the day and “overeat” at night. Once you master this essential eating cycle, a new life of explosive vigour, good looks, and vitality will be yours for the taking. (the emphasis would be mine.)

Well hell, who wouldn’t want that? So I decided to try it out. So this morning, I juiced the above veggies. Surprisingly, it doesn’t taste like ass. It’s actually kind of sweet thanks to the carrots. It does not, however taste like a hot cup of coffee with a warm buttered muffin, but it is more palatable than lima beans.

I’ve had a handful of nuts, at $13.99 a lbs. it was small handful, and a hard boiled egg………So far, I’m feeling great.

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55 Comments

  1. Good for you! So glad you are in!!!!!

  2. Why you sneaky lil’ minx.

  3. a new life of explosive vigour, good looks, and vitality will be yours for the taking.’

    I was on this diet for years! I loved it!!!

  4. I’m on the same diet myself! It works great, doncha think?

    And it’s good for the planet too (except for the increased gas you will be expelling, but a few carbon credits from my company should take care of that!)

  5. I don’t join anything that has the word *die* in it.
    But you go, girl!

  6. What is this term “under-eat” you used? What does that mean?

    Is it like when I eat my 4 ham sandwiches, my 6 pints of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, my 4 bags of Cheetos, my 2 cans of spray cheese and my 3 packages of Double Stuff Oreos for my mid-morning snack while laying under my kitchen table?

  7. Hey, you go, girl!

    Ummm, you gonna eat that?

  8. Waaaaaarriors!

  9. Dieting is stupid, ineffective and a waste of time.

  10. I wrote “The Warrior Diet” and it doesn’t work.

  11. Did I mention I hate you guys?

    *opens a chocolate bar*

    What?

  12. Did I mention I hate you guys?

    Goooooood….Goooood…the hatred is strong in this one…..

  13. You’re just going on a diet because you are a Bush sycophant who doesn’t care if the growers of this country can’t afford health insurance and therefore need people like me to help them out and give it to them.

  14. Remember the episode of GROWEING PAINS where CAROL went on a DIET then TRACEY GOLDEN became an ANOREXIC?

  15. Where da white women at?

  16. So this is where all the crazy went to. Tom, Rod Munch, and Rosie O. all in one thread. Freaking amazing.

    If I didn’t have the flu I would be pigging out at lunch with some of Cranky’s Famous Shepherd’s Pie [go ahead and click the link for some food porn, you know you want to] and corn bread with vanilla ice cream avec chocolate sauce for dessert. Instead I guess I will settle for tomato soup and grilled cheese. I bet we’re all packing on pounds just thinking about eating great food. Hahahahaha!

    Sorry, I’m a pig.

  17. I’m torn between loving the fact that I can’t click on that link and hating that I can’t click on it.

  18. This entry was posted on January 7, 2008 at 4:03 pm and is filed under Food.

    Is this a food blog? Pffft.

  19. Is it time for my early afternoon snack yet? I’m getting a little lightheaded.

  20. Well I don’t have you guys here to make many, many wonderful categories for me

  21. Me too Kerry, me too.

  22. To..ah..to be totally ..er..honest here..ah..I..ah..I like my women with a little..er..ah..little meat on their bones.

  23. Did you lock yourself out of your blog yet, PJM?

  24. NICE PLACE YOU’VE GOT HERE!! DID YOU KNOW THAT MY NEW AND IMPROVED MIGHTY PUTTY WOULD HELP KEEP YOUR TEETH GLUED TOGETHER, REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF FOOD YOU CAN GET PAST THOSE GUMS OF YOURS? AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, I’LL THROW IN A FREE SUPPLY OF LIQUID DIAMOND CAR WAX SO YOU CAN KEEP THIS BLOG LOOKING LIKE NEW!!! IT’S SO INCREDIBLE, IT ALSO WORKS ON BOATS!!

  25. Could I love a group of people anymore?

  26. Sorry, PJM, I must have screwed up the link above. So here it is in its unlinked form:

    http://balancesheet.wordpress.com/2007/12/16/comfort-food/

  27. You should have famous people review your site and then you should put those comments in a side bar. That would be good advertising.

  28. The only thing I love more than Rosetta and my real boobs is this new blog that doesn’t really have a name.

    It’s the first place I come to not learn anything and not be entertained.

  29. This site is the number one place to go for news about extraordinarily large genitalia.

  30. I agree!

  31. Wait a minute—-is that a big slice of pepperoni in the middle of the heap?

  32. Actually, it looks like a big wet scab.

    PJM was so hungry for some protein that she juiced a scab this morning.

    She’s a resourceful gal.

  33. Thank you lauraw, I needed that to get my mind off food. ICK!

  34. PJ, I tried this diet for about an hour today. It sucks! I’m so hungry right now, I could eat a race horse! And I really shouldn’t, because I’ve already had 2 today!

    I’m heading out to the Waffle House from my late afternoon snacks. Let me know if you come up with any other brilliant dieting ideas.

  35. Hahahahaha. I like the new title.

    +1,000 points

  36. How come comments are closed on the new post?

  37. Broken blog. Better alert Pixy.

  38. uh oh, I don’t know

  39. This blog sucks. We can only comment on the first post.

    That’s bullshit.

    *sets fire to blog*

  40. It’s fixed Dumass

  41. Dumass? Wasn’t he a painter?

    Soooo, didya lock yerself out yet?

  42. hahaha, no but I was coming close to hunting you down at your personal address to ask for help today.

  43. It’s from a commercial. The guy calls his interviewee dumbass and the boss says, It’s Dumass.you like doomoss? sheesh

  44. Food and drink are best from to get entertained.

  45. Already attaching spambots. You have arrived, PJM!

  46. hahaha, yeah that guy needs to go back to the sentences not making sense thread we had on The Hostages the other day.

    Oh I want to click on his linky. Must click. Must Click

  47. Where can I learn more about the Warrior Diet?

  48. This will teach you everything you need to know.

  49. I didn’t know Luke Skywalker drank raw milk.

  50. Straight from the ewok’s teet.

  51. I like the Wonder Woman header photo. Good one.

    + 8 chili-sheese dogs

  52. Can I have some tums now?

  53. No.

  54. Throws Cape Cod in Rosetta’s eyes.

  55. What’s Cape Cod? Some kind of lube?


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