I Went To A Civil War Reenactment Yesterday

 A Civil War soldier standing at the side of the road watches sympathetically as I struggle to walk my four children down the pine needle laden dirt path while pushing a stroller intended only for pavement.

Soldier: That’s quite a load you got there.

Me: *grins and decides to be ornery*  Are you calling me fat?

Soldier: No ma’am I know better. I even have a gun and I know better.

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18 Comments

  1. snicker…… guffaw…..snork….. BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

    Did you bring alone A&14 with you ??? Sounds like something that little pathetic turd would be into as well.

    Right A&14? you scary little freak.

  2. Right A&14? you scary little freak.

    someone was jealous that old coots was gettin all my attention.

  3. I was just glad that SOMEONE was paying you some attention, as it is obvious your parents aren’t.

    Although, I’m sure that your make uncle had has his hands all over you for a while now. Of course, since you haven’t complained to anyone about it, I’m also quite sure no one knows about that. Or cares. Probably because your dad is making money off your uncle on the side for his little dalliances.

    You sad little freak. You are not worthy to be commenting on the amazing and incredible PJMomma’s family-friendly blog.

  4. You sad little freak. You are not worthy to be commenting on the amazing and incredible PJMomma’s family-friendly blog.

    oh please!!! “oh my kid the big baby saw a movie and can’t recover.” “hey everyone, what’s that smell —-oh yeah forgot to wash my hair.”

    “it’s a new day look at my picture of fruit—–i am so freaking healthy”…..can u get me another beer?

    sorry ur right—–the greatness is overflowing!!!

  5. Although, I’m sure that your make uncle had has his hands all over you

    you know my “uncle make”??? small word, trip out!!

  6. sorry ur right—–the greatness is overflowing!!!

    Okay, I really can’t argue with you here.

    But even if her stuff can get a little…..unpleasant and/or dull sometimes, she’s still a good person. Certainly a better, more interesting person than some poor, sad, lonely little freak who is probably deformed and doesn’t have any friends and gets off by looking at pictures of fat chicks and insulting fat chicks while dreaming of being with any chick, even if it is a fat chick, as he plays with himself and silently cries with the knowledge that he will probably never, ever get to touch a real woman, even a fat chick.

    And, anyway, from what I understand, PJM is working really, really hard on a new post about pies. That might be something, huh? Maybe? Hopefully?

    Nah, probably not. But you still must respect her authoritah! ‘Cause otherwise she might sit on you. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, even you.

    Of course, you’d probably like it, wouldn’t you? You sad little freak.

  7. Nah, probably not. But you still must respect her authoritah! ‘Cause otherwise she might sit on you. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, even you.
    Of course, you’d probably like it, wouldn’t you? You sad little freak.

    i think u r tryin to start a friendship w/me? well no thanks! last night when you were spoonin’ with old coots and u lightly brushed his hair from his face….sweet tender kisses shared while whispering “i’ll protect you” -i ain’t fallin for it! what will the dorks from your geekdom say about this…..sorry i had to “out” you.

  8. You sad little freak.

    “sad” seems to be the buzz word around here——who’s cryin????
    oh…that’s right, it’s some kid who watched a movie. waaaaaa!

  9. oh please!!! “oh my kid the big baby saw a movie and can’t recover.” “hey everyone, what’s that smell —-oh yeah forgot to wash my hair.”

    “it’s a new day look at my picture of fruit—–i am so freaking healthy”…..can u get me another beer?

    Ya know, after taking a second look, based on A&14’s comment, ummmmm, I really gotta find somewhere else to spend my time.

    Seriously, A&14, you nailed her perfectly. I mean, it’s cruel, but it’s spot on. I really apologize for being so mean to you. For someone so young, you are really very insightful and mature.

  10. sorry i had to “out” you.

    Don;t apologize to me. I’ve long been out and proud. You may have a problem with Old Cloots though. He’s been in the closet for a loooooong time and I’m pretty sure he won’t be very pleased with our relationship going public.

  11. Seriously, A&14, you nailed her perfectly. I mean, it’s cruel, but it’s spot on. I really apologize for being so mean to you. For someone so young, you are really very insightful and mature.

    well this is lame *scratches head in confusion*

    Old coots——oh, old coots—–where are you?? c’mon….come back. i will be nice. i promise -a real promise y’know like when u were my boy scouts leader and you made me pinky swear…..yup….i never told. see….i really mean it!

  12. well this is lame *scratches head in confusion*

    Sorry, what I meant to say was screw off, ya little turd.

    Better now?

  13. Sorry, what I meant to say was screw off, ya little turd.

    Better now?

    actually, i owe you an apology. u got in trouble huh….old coots came home. —at least the “ball gag” won’t keep u from typing. laters!

  14. CHICK FIGHT!!!

  15. as he plays with himself and silently cries with the knowledge that he will probably never, ever get to touch a real woman

    I wonder if he has saved up enough of his allowance to buy one? It’s amazing what you can get for twenty bucks:

    AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, anal warts…

  16. AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, anal warts…

    what????? old coots u told me at scout camp that those were just words made up by the mormon church—–and then we played “our” game—–don’t worry I never told, scouts honor!!!

  17. Would somebody shut the screen door? You’re letting the nats in again.

  18. I forgot it was this weekend.

    I wanted to go but my senility is getting bad now.


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