Farting: It’s Such A Gas

I was over at Prudence Ponder’s blog and she had a post on inapppropriate laughter which of course made me think of my own personal fart story. Because I’m too lazy to rewrite it, I copied and pasted if from her blog.

I was at summer camp when I was 12 and I was hated there. I had the worst time ever. Part of the reason was because I didn’t know what Guess? Jeans and Reeboks were (they were the newest fad, but I went to Catholic school and wore a uniform and hand me downs) I was considered a total dork and admittedly I probably was a total dork.Another reason is probably because I was smarter than anyone there. I told the counselors that we should not be playing in the river because there was a lightning storm and they scoffed and told me I was an idiot and the only way it was dangerous to be in water during a lightning storm was if you were in a pool with a light. “Know It Alls” get hated quickly. We were at “the lodge” having our daily pow wow. Everyone was in a circle in the middle of the room and I was sitting in the window. I was “the outcast”. I was imagining jumping out that window and running away. I just wanted to go home.One might wonder if there was any one thing that could happen that would instantly make my time there worse, what would it be and could it possibly happen? Oh yeah, it could and it did. I got gas. I thought for sure I’d be able to sneak it out quietly. I did the old lift the side of the butt up preparing to eek it out.Did it work like that? Of course not. I ripped the loudest fart.I can still see it. It’s like slow motion. Every head in that room turned and looked at me with complete and total disgust. What did I do? I laughed. I laughed so hard and so loud. Everyone just shook their heads in disgust.I went home that day.

Lady farts on Canadian Idol

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58 Comments

  1. That is friggin highlarious. Nothing like an attempt at stealth farting gone awry. Classic!!

  2. I have never had a stealth fart. They are always ringers that tear the paint off of things.

  3. Hi former lurker bruce! I’m from socal too. Whereabouts you from?

    Yeah usa admiral, it’s prolly ok for a guy to rip one, not so much for a chick.

  4. women who fart are teh hot!!

  5. That’s an idea. I think I’ll post a fart story from my youth at my site later today. It wasn’t my fart, but I was there, and thinking about it makes me laugh out loud thinking about it still..

  6. I didn’t know what Guess? Jeans and Reeboks were

    Huh, that’s strange? I had a pair of Guess Jeans and two pairs of Reeboks (pink and black). It was hard to decide which pair to wear during my long days at Disneyland with Mom. -Did Mom take you to Sanrio too? I loved buying Hello Kitty pencils and erasers. Being the baby of the family was great.

    Next you should share about your days at Barbizon.

  7. I’ve never been able to stealth fart. It’s a skill I deeply covet.

    And I dearly love inappropriate laughter. Laughing your ass off when no else gets it? Lovely. Laughing your ass off when the people who don’t get it have made you a social outcast? Priceless and oh sooooo satisfying.

  8. This post stinks…

  9. No YOU stink! You’re a stinky monkey in fact.

  10. This post stinks…

    Haha I get it…not let’s go make out!

  11. I meant “now”…but who cares, right?

  12. but who cares, right?

    Not me when I get an invite like that. your backseat or mine?

  13. Bless your heart PJM. I’m glad you farted in their general direction and had the good humor to laugh your hiney off. An excellent move and a good story.

  14. BAHAHA – that’s hi-larious – both your story AND the Canadian Farter – love it!

  15. All this time I thought it was the dog.

  16. That is too funny. I use to have this friend who would fart in the car then put on the child safety door & window locks so I couldn’t get out or get fresh air….. As she laughed hysterically!!!! Pure Torture. I bet she thinks about that from time to time when she needs a good laugh. But then again she rarely remembers most of the torture and embarrassment she so lovingly put me through for so many years. Oh such fond memories…….

  17. Huh, wonder who that friend is? hhhhhmmmmmmm, hhhhhmmmmm, I’m gonna have to think looong and hard about that one.

    *thinks to self

    Nope, doesn’t sound familiar at all.

  18. That is too funny. I use to have this friend who would fart in the car then put on the child safety door & window locks so I couldn’t get out or get fresh air….. As she laughed hysterically!!!!

    Sad, I too was tortured the same way. I remember EXACTLY who it was…but I am a nice sister and I would never rat her out.

  19. This cartoon reminded me of your story.

  20. […] You Can Never Hear Enough Fart Jokes Jump to Comments A most excellent fart post yesterday by PJMomma included this. Naturally, I had to steal […]

  21. […] You Can Never Hear Too Many Fart Jokes Jump to Comments A most excellent fart post yesterday by PJMomma included this clip from the Canadian Idol auditions. Naturally, I had to steal […]

  22. My brother ripped one off during church, one Sunday, (amplified by the wooden pew), during a moment of silence, no less. All of us girls looked at my mom to see what she would do, which enraged her because it made it look like she was the culprit.

    We all spent the rest of mass suppressing giggles.

  23. All of us girls looked at my mom to see what she would do, which enraged her because it made it look like she was the culprit.

    Oh that just killed me. Too funny. I would have been in hysterics.

    This cartoon reminded me of your story.

    I’ll be showing that one to my kids today.

  24. Post is up.

  25. OK, the movie was funny.

  26. My historic fart happened when I was talking to John Caruso, the popular boy in grade school.

    I was laughing and the laugh forced a fart out that stopped everyone cold. I wanted to keep laughing, but didn’t. No one did.

    Complete silence is the worst thing that can happen to an accidental fart.

  27. That’s when you’re supposed to point at someone else and laugh, Deb.

  28. I was laughing and the laugh forced a fart out that stopped everyone cold.

    Oh that hurts because you had to see these people again. Luckily I was able to escape.

  29. Jesus Christ you and BIW swapping ass gas stories.

  30. Goddammit your sister is ignoring me again, PJM.

  31. upset waitress: BIW started………….seriously it was allll him.

    Abbadon, I’ll knock her out if you want. I’m waaaaaaaaaaaay biggger than her.

  32. Hey Kare-kare Fare-fare, maybe we should start our own “support group blog” regarding this sister of yours. I mean this person we will spare by not naming, who also happens to love bean burritos. She could be traumatizing other people at this very moment. 4 other little people to be exact!!!!

  33. hellfire…I think you might be onto something. I bet if we keep sharing our *sniff* painful memories, it will give others the courage to speak out. Like the time she was babysitting me and I was forced to bring her a bowl, toothpaste, and tooth brush…just so she didn’t have to leave the couch and miss her show (little house on the prairie).

  34. Daggnabbit your sister is ignoring me again, PJM.

    Uh, Dear Abby….God’s last name is NOT Dammit.
    Oh and we will choose my backseat, I imagine my idea of clean is different than yours.

    love you, mean it!! xoxox

  35. God’s last name is NOT Dammit.

    It is in Hell.

    Oh and we will choose my backseat, I imagine my idea of clean is different than yours.

    Mine’s clean. Even has an old flannel sheet over it to keep it that way.

    love you, mean it!! xoxox

    I’ll bet you say that to all the demons…

  36. Even has an old flannel sheet over it to keep it that way.

    ew.

  37. I think you might be onto something. I bet if we keep sharing our *sniff* painful memories, it will give others the courage to speak out. Like the time she was babysitting me and I was forced to bring her a bowl, toothpaste, and tooth brush…just so she didn’t have to leave the couch and miss her show

    I think we are onto something…I still have nightmares about the time she put alum on my tongue. I haven’t been able to sleep without a full glass of water next to my bed since!!!!!

  38. One would have to wonder what is wrong with the two of you that you would want to continue associating with such a complete and total beeyotch?

  39. I love that you can pull 40 comments on a fart post!

    Seriously.

    *note to self, more fart posts*

  40. 30 of them are my comments. :)

  41. One would have to wonder what is wrong with the two of you that you would want to continue associating with such a complete and total beeyotch?

    I am sure if either of us bothered to get counseling we’d be labeled sadomasochist. What other kind of people would be reading and posting comments on a blog subject titled “Farting: It’s such a gas”? But hey, here we are…… Laughing our behinds off and letting the gas rip where it may as we read and posting comments on Gas. Man ~ I think I love the internet!!!

  42. Oh, excuse me…. I just tooted

  43. I think she should post a study of farts, that carefully categorizes every type, only in a format we can all post contributions to…like a wikipedia of farts.

  44. I think she should post a study of farts, that carefully categorizes every type, only in a format we can all post contributions to…like a wikipedia of farts.

    Don’t give PJM any bright ideas…. The last thing I need to see the next time I go to the book store is an eyeball looking at me, with an advertisement stating “New York Times states best seller -wikipedia of farts- to be a gas”

  45. The sheet’s clean, you meathead…

    Christ, trying to get a cardate with PJM’s sister on a fart post. How low can it get…

    ;o)>

  46. How low can it get…

    ….you have to ask? :)

  47. Show me. Send me a pic of your tits.

    :o)>

  48. Hey, KKFF, this is for you, babe!

  49. Show me. Send me a pic of your tits.

    It is Friday and since you asked….okay.

  50. You need to shave, man…

  51. You need to shave, man…

    that’s not what u said last night. love me …love my hair!

  52. GAAAAK! PJM, yer sister is grossing me out!

    Brazilian is the only way to go…

  53. wha…I have the most amazon, eh I mean “amazing” bush ever! You know you want it….I thought you liked picking hair out of your teeth, no?

  54. wha…I have the most amazon, eh I mean “amazing” bush ever!

    Don’t hide it if you want people to bite it…

  55. I just want to let everyone know that as you get older doubts about farts will creep into your mind. And it will cause you to cramp up in fear that a fart is not what it is in the end.

  56. […] about Pajama Momma from MommyPie and I’m glad I did. And the very first post I read was this one and then that was it. I love fart stories. Also, poo stories. And stuff about pus. I don’t […]


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