I Am Bitchface

My sister gave me a nickname when we were young. Bitchface. Yep, that’s me I am bitchface. My younger sister who was always funnier, prettier, blonder and more self assured than me could always get the best of me.

It’s ok, I have always been bigger than her. When she was beating me at “The Mental Olympics”, I would just turn around and punch her, game over, I win.

The best of times were when our collective evil was beamed on others, but alas, being sisters it was more often than not, directed at each other.

There was always some sort of prank being pulled, or sometimes we were just plain mean to each other. Like the time I ditched Mass, I waited till my sister exited the church and asked her who the priest was and what the Homily (the sermon the priest gives) was about. I picked up my bulletin from the back of the church, this was my ticket stub to prove I was actually there, it was my vallidation. I drove home.

So there I sat at the dinner table, not only telling my parents the unsolicited information about the Mass, but embellishing the details. The oh-so-flowery details of how much I loved this particular priest and how wonderful his sermon was.

My dad was hanging on every word. He was nodding his head in what I was certain was absolute agreement because as I found out, he’d been at that Mass too. Oh man, I was doing good. He was really interested in what I was saying.

I couldn’t quite understand the smirk on his face, but eh, whatever, if you’re good, you’re good right?

Did I forget  to mention my sister lied to me about everything? About who the priest was and what the sermon was about?  My parents let me dig and dig and then went in for the kill. Yep, that was a fun night.

Oh and I’m bitchface? She’s lucky she lives clear across the country because remembering this makes me want to punch her. 

Advertisements

80 Comments

  1. Are you two pinching the hell out of each other in this picture?

    My brother and I used to do thins when pictures were taken.

    Nice picture. You both are pretty cute in this picture.

    You gotz punch problems Doll.

  2. Yeah! they were pretty cute alright, but I vote for the mom.
    what a hottie, and to put up with such “brat faces”

  3. Huh, wonder who purple mania is?

  4. What a gaggle of gorgeous girls!! Be still my beating heart!

    PJM – Don’t feel bad. My brother Kevin did almost the exact thing to me when I was about 13.

  5. Yes, her way of getting back at me……letting me walk around with caterpillars on my face. If only someone would’ve taken me to get a brow wax.

    Thanks for the compliment MCPO!

  6. Hey, PJM, you still up for some plowing??

    Growwwrrr!

  7. Bitchface™

  8. HAHAHAHA! You suck! You think you’re all special now that you know the TM dontcha?

    *feels useless now

  9. You’re both pretty cute with what looks like a huge dose of mischief. And your mom is lovely – that is your mom? Not so sure about the eyes, but you guys have her face.

  10. You think you’re all special now that you know the TM dontcha?
    Yep™
    Italics too!

    Thanks to Professor Cuffy

  11. ™ – ALT+0153
    © – ALT+0169
    ® – ALT+0174
    ² – ALT+0178
    º – ALT+0186

    Those are just the ones off the top of my head.

  12. Those are just the ones off the top of my head.

    Show off.

  13. I wouldn’t worry about it, PJM. Everyone knows that a sassy brunette is waaaayyy more fun than a blond…well, everybody but mesa.

  14. Girls!

    Thank God I had boys, at least their fighting was out in the open, and it didn’t matter who started the fight, both got in trouble.

    Funny how now that they are grown up, they get along just great. In fact my youngest son was my oldest son’s Best Man at his wedding 2 weeks ago.

    I bet your Dad had to keep a baseball bat by the front door to beat the boys that came around hound dogging after you 2 cute girls.

    Another thing I didn’t have to worry about.

    Oh, here is a link to ASCII Keyboard codes: http://rmhh.co.uk/ascii.html

    Now you can be as smart as Professor Cuffy

  15. You don’t look like a bitchface.

    Burritohead? Yes.

    Bitchface? No.

    You’re a cutie patooty.

  16. Burritohead™

    cutie patooty™

  17. Also, what’s that on your head? Tumbleweed?

  18. Tumbleweed™

  19. You are a Taco Head™

  20. Tumble weed? You’re a hair-ist! Kinda like I’m a bald-ist!

    Notice I separated the words tumble and weed so technically you do not own them

  21. Wrong again. Your impressive streak of wrongness remains unbroken.

    I am Joe Cool Head™©®

  22. I can almost guess the year of that picture from the height of your hair.

    Permed mullet was better.

  23. PJM – Don’t feel bad. My brother Kevin did almost the exact thing to me when I was about 13.
    You Catholic MCPO? You’ll have to email me that story sometime. :)

    You gotz punch problems Doll.
    Darn right I do. I figure if I punch her enough I’ll be able to outwit her cuz she’ll be tarded.

    You’re both pretty cute with what looks like a huge dose of mischief.
    A whole lotta mischief. and yes that’s mommy, thanks for the compliment. :)

    well, everybody but mesa.
    yeah, he was that leprachaun fetish, kinda weird

    I bet your Dad had to keep a baseball bat by the front door to beat the boys that came around hound dogging after you 2 cute girls.

    Nah, I was too busy sneaking out.

  24. Permed mullet was better.

    Permed Mullet™

    you may never discuss your mullet again without asking my permission and paying a small fortune.

    Your impressive streak of wrongness remains unbroken.
    The force is strong with me.

  25. Strong like bull.

    Why did your sister cross the road?

  26. Chicken was a bitchface.

  27. Strong like bull.

    Hairy like animal

  28. That was one of the worst videos ever.

  29. Sadly that song is hypnotic. I think I rewound it three times.

    I’ll see your bad video and raise you this really kick ass fight scene.

  30. That reminds me of me and my date getting it on the night of high school prom.

  31. I thought we already discussed that you didn’t have a date. Don’t try and make yourself look good.

    *hangs head

    Oh wait, that was me that didn’t have a date
    I”m going to cut myself

  32. You can’t cut yourself with a bacon cheeseburger.

    I will be your date to prom if you want.

    I’ll see if I can borrow my Uncle’s Camaro IROC-Z.

  33. I do NOT drink wine coolers.

  34. IROC-Z™
    Wine Coolers™

  35. Why don’t you two just have a fake internet wedding?

  36. I’m guessing that your prom was only a scant few years before mine.

    What did you drink, PJM?

  37. *cries
    I never went to prom ok?
    Why don’t you rub it in?
    Why don’t you just pour salt in my wound ok?

    *totally ignores bmac’s comment :)

  38. I’m guessing that your prom was only a scant few years before mine.

    Wha? How old do you think I am?

  39. I dated the prom queen! Drove my dad’s brand new LeMans – Cardinal red with a white leather interior. Nice girl. Good time. Sweet ride.

    I gotta wear a tux next week. . .ARGGGGHHH

  40. Wha? How old do you think I am?

    I’m guessing ya got 3 years on me.

  41. By the way, Kare-kare looks like ya popped her in the eyes in this photo.

  42. I’ll be 35 this month

  43. I gotta wear a tux next week. . .ARGGGGHHH

    I’m certain you will look fabulous.

  44. IROC-Z™
    Wine Coolers™

    Hahahahahaha!

    That WILL never get old.

  45. Pooter™

  46. Poontang is mine!

    Poontang™

  47. If you aren’t lying, I’m a year older.
    Gad!

  48. You would have intimidated me in High School, BTW.

  49. You would have intimidated me in High School, BTW.

    why did I look mean?

    Cuz if I didn’t, I should look mean now because you think I’m older than you!!!

  50. No. Because I didn’t talk to hot girlz unless they talked to me first. Chicks like you did not move in my circles.

  51. Does This Blog Make My Butt Look Big?™

    I’ll be sending you a bill, pajama momma.

  52. No. Because I didn’t talk to hot girlz unless they talked to me first. Chicks like you did not move in my circles.

    Oh that slays me. If only you knew what a nerd I was. I only hung out with dorks. :)

    I’ll be sending you a bill, pajama momma.

    bastard

    wait
    bastard™

  53. Chicks like you did not move in my circles.

    Unless you needed help with your homework.

  54. You apparently do not understand my dorkitude. I play world of warcraft for crying out loud.

  55. Wolrd of Warcraft™

  56. FUCKER!!

    World of Warcraft™

  57. I’ll sell Wolrd of Warcraft™ to you for $50.

  58. NEVER! I play WoW™

  59. Why did Jeff cross the road?

  60. he was stapled to chad?

  61. Like I said, who needs the Hostages?

  62. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA®

  63. See? A huge comment thread is easy. Use words like “Poontang”, “Sex” or add pics of jailbail, and voila!

  64. PJ Momma, you’ve been tagged. See here for the rules:

    http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/meme-six-word-memoir/

    Good luck!

  65. You also have to have a bunch of people who don’t work all day, BIW.

  66. Please, haven’t you two noticed half the comments are mine?

  67. Please, haven’t you two noticed half the comments are mine

    And Rosetta. If you could get Patty Ann and Mesa over here it would be just as entertaining without the whinging…

  68. If only you knew what a nerd I was. I only hung out with dorks.

    Should I be offended????

  69. You should be in agreement. :)

  70. Heh. Still being a pissy little bitch about having your gay porn taken away from you, I see.

  71. Hahaha. BITCH FIGHT!!!!!

  72. You should be in agreement
    Goes to show what you know, and apparently what I knew. I thought I was hanging out with the cool kids!!!! Imagine how shocked I am now.

    Of course, there were signs now that I think back….
    Earth Society Club??? And who the heck has fun in Biology???

    I guess if I actually went to school more, I may have figured it out sooner, but damn if I didn’t think you were cool!!!!!

    Now I know!

  73. Yeah! they were pretty cute alright, but I vote for the mom.
    what a hottie, and to put up with such “brat faces”

    I agree the mom is a hottie, but it’s bitch faces, not brat faces!!!!!!

  74. BITCH FIGHT!!!!!

    It’s not much of a fight, really. It was more a statement of fact.

    And Wiserbud? That’s the last “gay porn” I’ll ever watch, even though you did such a convincing job pretending to polish your friend’s knob.

  75. If you could get Patty Ann and Mesa over here it would be just as entertaining without the whinging…

    Bacon™

  76. Bacon™

    Huh?

  77. Great story. Love your writing style too. Let’s hear some more stories about you and your sis. Trickery is a fun topic to read :) Your sis may take you out on the fly but I wonder if she can match your writing talent.

  78. Great story. Love your writing style too. Let’s hear some more stories about you and your sis.

    Mom? Is that you?

  79. No, it’s the African Wizard. I’ve come to steal your daughter’s dress design!!!!

    Argh! How will I get past the eye at the top of the pyramid?! It’s watching, watching, ever watching!

    *sends Gollum to sneak past the eye*

  80. Your mom was Mrs Garrett from The Facts of Life?

    And you were Jo, and your sis was Blair?

    Coooooooooooooool


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s