Sometimes The Dress-up Box Gets On My Nerves

*Garren: Mom I can’t find my “Credible” ( Incredible Hulk) costume.

*Me: Ok, I’ll help you look for it. Honey I can’t find it, how bout this costume? It’s mommy’s “Box of Wine” costume from last Halloween.

*Garren: No, I want my “Credible” costume.

*Me: Ugh, fine.

My kids don’t just play dress-up, they play the, “How many costumes can we get mom to help us put on and take off before she gets annoyed” game. I must have put on 80 gajillion costumes yesterday.

I thought I was doing good, seriously, I was patient for a loooong time. And then it gets to the point where I’m like, NO! Pay attention this foot goes in here! NO! Look at me, not the TV. Pay attention to where your foot is going, that’s the wrong hole again! For the love of God man, you’re just like your father……that’s not the right hole! (they’ll forget I made that comment by the time they understand what it means…..right?)

All right mom, time to redirect.

Ok guys, mommy’s gonna put a movie in, you guys can keep the costumes you have on, but I’m not putting anymore on for you. That’s the deal.

*few minutes later

“Mom can you take my costume off?” I told you I wasn’t going to do that for you anymore. “But I have to go to the bathroom” Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The left is my living room on any given Monday morning. The right? Monday afternoon. That green blob on the couch is an unconscious alligator child. I had to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart and duct tape his snout shut so he wouldn’t bite me. I saw them do that on Animal Planet once.

Advertisements

99 Comments

  1. I love it when they fight over the clone trooper mask.
    The little one’s more brutal than the big one.

  2. What a nice living room. I am sooo jealous.

  3. That’s very sweet of you if you’re talking about the first picture.

    I want you to know however, that every piece of furniture is from the thrift store, yard sales or craig’s list. And any accessory is from Wal-mart, most out of the scratch and dent pile.

    Now if you’re talking about the second photo, I’ll give my kids the credit for that one. :)

  4. Ha! Did you forget to tie his tail to a tree? That’s always what Steve Irwin did when he caught crocs. That way, they can’t run off when you tag them or mess around with them for the cameras.

    That gator looks awful small; might be you could tie his tail to the couch without him being able to move it.

  5. every piece of furniture is from the thrift store, yard sales or craig’s list. And any accessory is from Wal-mart, most out of the scratch and dent pile.

    Wow!? -and I thought you bought the card table/folding chairs from Ethan Allen.

  6. Ah, costume time, what fun!!

    Just beware of the light-sabers and HeMan swords because inevitably the oldest will try to test out the effectiveness of said sword/light saber on the youngest and a fight will pursue.

  7. Oh My Gosh!!!!! Is that a clean living room????? I know you have 4 kids and let me tell ya the picture on the right is pretty darn clean too!!!! I am impressed! Good girl!!!
    However, One question. If the living room on the right is so clean on Monday’s can you actually open closets with out things falling out on top of you? That is the true test….

    Your living room does look great!!! If anyone can make thrift shop furniture look good, it’s certainly you. And don’t worry I won’t tell KKFF you actually did get that folding table and chairs from Ethan Allen. It’s just our little secret…….

  8. Oh I forgot….

    Be careful with that tranquilizer gun,you wouldn’t want all the kids to get shot in the butt – by accident of course,

    I am so not insinuating you would do that for a little mommy madness time……

  9. Your living room does look great!!! If anyone can make thrift shop furniture look good, it’s certainly you.

    Yes..she should do interior design. Then everyone in the mobile home park can have pretty double wide’s! Hey Hellfire, didn’t she make over your trailer?

  10. When my young’uns were young’uns, our living room had two patio loungers (KMart), in between them was a zerox paper box (USS Simon Lake) covered with a dish towel and a beautiful brass table lamp (from MCPO’s Mom).

    Children NEVER run out of energy until longer after their parents are exhausted. . . it’s a law of Newtonian physics!

  11. Yes..she should do interior design. Then everyone in the mobile home park can have pretty double wide’s! Hey Hellfire, didn’t she make over your trailer?

    Hey Kare-kare Fare-fare,
    Don’t be a hater because PJM is onto something!! I am sure there is a huge demand for trailer park redecorating!!!! ! I bet she’d decorate your trailer for free, if you just asked her. I am sure she can order anything online from K-mart or Wal-Mart, if the thrift shops are beneath you.

  12. ok don’t know what i did to get everything in italics on that last post. I did it correct, probably a bug on PMJ’s Blog. Yah that’s the ticket, it wasn’t me!!!!!

  13. For the love of God man, you’re just like your father……that’s not the right hole!

    Uh…….prolly too much information.

  14. Uh…….prolly too much information.

    No! Too much information would be me telling you that, “I trim my tampon strings”.

  15. No! Too much information would be me telling you that, “I trim my tampon strings”.

    That’s not too much information. Everyone knows that.

  16. tampon strings™

  17. “I trim my tampon strings”.

    You didn’t use the scissors I use to trim my mustache, did you?

  18. “I trim my tampon strings”.

    that just gave me a good idea……..

  19. why does it keep doing italics on everything????????????
    PJM get rid of that bug on your butt, I mean blog. Woops sorry slip of the keys…..

  20. You didn’t use the scissors I use to trim my mustache, did you?

    yes, and then I cut a dingle berry off the dog.

  21. why does it keep doing italics on everything????????????

    Maybe cuz you rode the small bus?

  22. yes, and then I cut a dingle berry off the dog.

    Was that dinner?????

  23. Kare-kare – It’s the “short bus” and your bicycle helmet is on backwards. :-)

  24. Maybe cuz you rode the small bus?

    Your mistaken, I only got onto the small bus to get you to follow. Someone had to make sure you got onto the right bus.

  25. It’s the “short bus”

    apparently we were both on the wrong bus. Do they call that the blind leading the blind???

  26. why does it keep doing italics on everything????????????

    You weren’t closing your italics dumbass this symbol right here / is your friend

  27. PJM – That’s “Dumas” not “dumbass”! :-D

  28. ha! you’ve seen that commercial too? I loved that one!

  29. You weren’t closing your italics dumbass this symbol right here / is your friend

    All right this DUM Bass already figured it out, thank you very much!!!!!

  30. sorry, I guess it’s not dumbass, it’s Dumas

  31. I thought I was a really stupid fish.!? I just can’t keep up with this young whipper snapper slang…..

    It sucks being on the verge of 35

  32. Hellfire – Before Kare-kare “borrowed” them, I had mustache scissors older than 35!

  33. Before Kare-kare “borrowed” them, I had mustache scissors older than 35!

    Thanks for making me feel better!

    Of course, Now I feel bad for you!!!!

    You must be really really really old.

  34. Hellfire – Yup, I’m two days older than dirt. But I don’t mind getting old when you consider the alternative!

  35. Hellfire – Yup, I’m two days older than dirt. But I don’t mind getting old when you consider the alternative!

    I can only think the opposite is being young and stupid. I am thankful that I am somewhere in the middle, and will never go back to young and stupid.

  36. For the love of God man, you’re just like your father……that’s not the right hole! (they’ll forget I made that comment by the time they understand what it means…..right?)

    No~ that’s when the horrifying comment comes out of nowhere in their head, and although your child made it through so many years with minimal damage from their upbringing, THEY REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. YES!!!! I am bored, everyone is asleep and I am by myself, left to my own devices, drinking wine, checking out your big butt blog. You should call me before I post something completely inappropriate and people read it before it gets deleted!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Hitting the F5 key continually here boss!!!

  39. No! Too much information would be me telling you that, “I trim my tampon strings”.

    So sad Kare-kare Fare-fare you are becoming just as vulgar as you know who!

    What happened to that sweet innocent girl that took care of mooshi mooshi?

  40. Hey no running with the scissors!™ [I own it now, contact me for royalty rates] You could put an eye out or something worse.

  41. Hey no running with the scissors!™ [I own it now, contact me for royalty rates] You could put an eye out or something worse.

    From the sounds of it, they will definitely take out something worse then an eye!!!!

  42. cranky, you’re a bastard™ and I can say that because I own that word

  43. i knew you were still there PMJ!!!! What the heck, I can’t sleep, I am bored, what are you doing??????

  44. Whatever, guess it’s time for me to go to bed anyhow!!!

  45. right after i finish my smoke and wine

  46. Smokin’ crack and drinking Annie Greenspring’s finest wine-in-a-box!

    Hello Friday night!

  47. Smokin’ crack and drinking Annie Greenspring’s finest wine-in-a-box!

    I am actually drinking wine out of a bottle tonight. I save the boxes of wine for Halloween.

  48. ^what about “Three Buck Chuck” from Trader Joe’s? My wife insists on buying our food from there, my daughter loves pushing her own mini-cart, and I love the fact I can buy a bottle of intoxicating liquid for less than the cost of an extra value meal.

  49. As for costumes, my daughter has at least 5 princess costumes my wife bought from Germany. Quite the sight seeing a three year old going down the slide in a outfit more elegant than anything I own.

  50. If you’re paying three bucks for Two-Buck Chuck, you’re getting ripped off…

  51. PJM wrote: Comment by pajama momma on April 11, 2008 10:59 pm
    cranky, you’re a bastard™ and I can say that because I own that word

    SHIT!™

  52. SHIT™ HTML for italics using EM and /EM doesn’t work anymore?

    Heh,™ own it.

    HTML™ own it, pay up world.

  53. Tentacle porn™

  54. Kare-kare – It’s the “short bus” and your bicycle helmet is on backwards. :-)

    does my drool cup make me look fat?

  55. who keeps whispering, “penus, penus, penus?” knock it off!

  56. Kare-kare – I’m whispering, “peanuts”. That’s what you put in your drool cup after you got off the bus.

  57. does my drool cup make me look fat?

    Not at all, it covers the double chin if you hold it close to your face. You look FABULOUS baby!!!

    Go for it!!! Put the penus, penus penus behind you!!!!!

  58. BAHAHA – Okay, “that’s not the right hole” sent me over the edge …

    Mine has a dragon costume she insists on wearing in public. To the store, out to dinner. Cute, yes. Stuffing the dragon’s ginormous wings into her car seat, not so much.

  59. Go for it!!! Put the penus, penus penus behind you!!!!!

    It’s always nice to know we have a kink cheerleader on board, eh, KKFF?

  60. Late getting to the blog post.

    Hypothetically speaking, where would I – and I’m not saying I want to – get one of these Tranquilizer Guns™ if I was looking to get one? Hypothetically speaking.

    The reason why children will NOT tire out until the adults have collapsed is very simple when looked at in the right way.

    We all have a certain amount of energy that we are born with. We get that X-amount of energy renewed every single day. When we are little that energy will take you a long way. When you are bigger, it just doesn’t stretch. Compare a Ferrari to a moped. A gallon of gas in each one results in markedly different distances traveled.

  61. For the love of God man, you’re just like your father……that’s not the right hole!

    With all those chilluns runnin around seems like he’s pretty good at findin the right hole.. unless you meant it the other way.

  62. Go for it!!! Put the penus, penus penus behind you!!!!!

    Shh..shhh…shhh. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

  63. Animal Planet gives the best parenting advice!

    p.s. You coulda tagged me. I’m hopefully not close to dying.

  64. How are you feeling? I’m gonna ask you on your blog too in case you don’t see this.

  65. Shh..shhh…shhh. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

    Oink Oink!!!!

  66. When you are bigger, it just doesn’t stretch. Compare a Ferrari to a moped. A gallon of gas in each one results in markedly different distances traveled.

    Yah, Yah, Yah… That sounds very logical and all, but lets face it, God put children on this Earth to drive us parents crazy. God needs a good laugh now and then too.

    So the real story goes like this:

    On the 13th day God just couldn’t believe Adam and Eve weren’t listening to him, so on the 14th day, his day off, because lets just face it, if you have children there is no such day as a day of rest…. So God, a bit flustered, created babies…. Realizing they were too cute to be a joke, he created them to turn into Toddlers, and then as he laughed (because he was having such fun on his day of rest) He then created them to turn into teenagers!!!!

    And hence the term we have all heard from our parents, “I cant wait until you have children of your own, and they act just like you!”

    Original quote from…. Yes you guessed it…..GOD!!!!

  67. On the 13th day God just couldn’t believe Adam and Eve weren’t listening to him, so on the 14th day, his day off, because lets just face it, if you have children there is no such day as a day of rest…. So God, a bit flustered, created babies…. Realizing they were too cute to be a joke, he created them to turn into Toddlers, and then as he laughed (because he was having such fun on his day of rest) He then created them to turn into teenagers!!!!

    And hence the term we have all heard from our parents, “I cant wait until you have children of your own, and they act just like you!”

    Original quote from…. Yes you guessed it…..GOD!!!!

    Uh, maybe I’m rude but…..was being a retard a prerequisite for this blog?

  68. Uh, maybe I’m rude but…..was being a retard a prerequisite for this blog?

    Hell, you’re here…

  69. Abbadon is here too!

  70. Abbadon is here too!

    hahahhahahhahahha!

  71. Uh, maybe I’m rude but…..was being a retard a prerequisite for this blog?

    Duhhhhhh, didn’t you read the small print on the home page? You know PMJ rode the “small” bus too!!!!

  72. Duhhhhhh, didn’t you read the small print on the home page? You know PMJ rode the “small” bus too!!!!

    and the unfunny award goes to…..

  73. PMJ???

    PaMomma Jamma?

    Fucking retards…

  74. Fucking retards…

    Sweet Abby…are you flirting with me?

  75. are you flirting with me?

    Actually, I thought I was flirting with Hellfire.

  76. Actually, I thought I was flirting with Hellfire.

    you have my blessings.

  77. Something you want to tell me about Hellfire?
    \
    Does she have an STD?

    Two heads?

    Okay, I know – Siamesed twiis!

  78. WTF???

    SIAMESE TWINS

  79. So this is late…But I’m good.

    Got a fatty liver and a gallbladder polyp.

    Whatever, 40.

  80. Actually, I thought I was flirting with Hellfire.

    Don’t bother, I don’t like hot dogs ~ not even on a stick, not with a flick, or even a hick! You never know what your eating!

    I hate it when I read Dr. Suess, I can’t stop rhyming…..

  81. I don’t like hot dogs ~You never know what your eating!

    Well, we could always play hide the salami instead. I’m easy.

  82. I’m easy.

    Shocker.

  83. From where I sit, you need easy…

  84. From where I sit, you need easy…

    What the hell does that mean? From your craftmatic bed, wheel chair….? :)

  85. I know where you can sit, babe…

  86. I know where you can sit, babe…

    Uh…where is the pull cord on this bus, I would like off!

  87. Sis…you can come home now. Ughhh! Oh and this is my new favorite song.

  88. Let’s try it again…

  89. Interesting…don’t bother clicking on it. Effin’ YOUTUBE!

  90. Uh…where is the pull cord on this bus, I would like off!

    Pissing out early?

    And we were going to have so much fun with the, er, pull cord.

  91. Pissing out early?

    Nah..and what’s w/all the name changes?..going through a crisis?

  92. and “M” where’d your blog go? do I have to type in 666 somewhere?

  93. Nah..and what’s w/all the name changes?..going through a crisis?

    Nah yourself! It’s an alias I use to blog on a certain friend’s sex blog so I can’t be traced by her trolls. I forgot to change it back. It’s fixed now. just for you…

    and “M” where’d your blog go?

    You never comment there anyway, but maybe you’ll surprise me this time.

  94. Well, blow me down!

    KKFF commented on my blog! Thanks, dear!

  95. KKFF commented on my blog! Thanks, dear!

    With that reaction…you’re NEVER gettin’ rid of me!

  96. Well I never wanted to, sweetie!

    ;o)>

  97. Well I never wanted to, sweetie!</I.

    let’s just forget the flirting..and get “it’ over with!

  98. Oh crap..can ya tell I’ve had a few to drink? hahahha

  99. let’s just forget the flirting..and get “it’ over with!

    What’s the rush?


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s