Why Can’t Pretty Girls Smile?

So I went to the zoo today for my daughter’s field trip. I parked and found my daughter in line and decided to observe her unnoticed. What I saw was the sweetest thing. It made my heart melt.

My 6 year old girl was standing forehead touching forehead with a little boy and they were making each other laugh and laugh. They adored each other.

Madeleine’s teacher came up to me and said, “that’s Wesley, that’s Madeleine’s boyfriend.” I said, it is? The teacher said, “well Wesley’s mom says she is, but that Madeleine doesn’t know she’s his girlfriend”. I told the teacher,  I wasn’t sure about that because I thought she liked Maxwell. The teacher said, “oh everybody likes Maxwell”.

Madeleine finally saw me and I went over to her. When Wesley found out who I was, he said to me a sentence I hope I’ll never forget. He looked me in the eyes and said so sweetly and so proudly of his girl, “Madeleine sure is a great joke teller”.

YES! YES! Oh that’s the greatest thing. Please, please Madeleine when you grow up, marry the boy that makes you laugh. The one that makes you happy. The one that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster when you find out he’s on his way home. I couldn’t ask for anything more for my girl. Don’t go for the boy that everyone wants, just because he’s pretty. Go for the one that brings you joy. Marry your friend. If he’s considered a “dork” by society’s standards, who cares sweetheart? Who cares?

I can think of few things more calming to the soul than laughter. Of course, as an over-thinker this got me going. I was at the zoo looking at all the pretty women there and every single one of them had something in common. They couldn’t smile. None of  them. The M.I.L.F’s, the 20 something’s that will grow up to be M.I.L.F’s and the teenagers all had the same pouty, miserable expression.

When did pouty become beautiful? The look of “yeah, I’m hot and you can’t have me” was so prevalent among them. Bleh. I actually feel sorry for them because they must not know the pleasure of laughing so hard your stomach aches. Of just……….guffawing.

What happened in our world that made our idea of beauty go from the happy pin-up girl to the stern angular faced models we have today?

Ah, nevermind. Doesn’t matter to me. I’m content here laughing my ass off.

smile damnit!





  1. Whoa!

    Where is PajamaMomma and what have you done to her?
    This is a GREAT post. Made me tear a little. Well, more than a little.

  2. Well you know how hard bulemia is on the teeth, so all these supermodels can’t/won’t smile lest they disclose their dirty little secret. When did stick women replace voluptuos and curvy? Bleh!

  3. You stole this from The Hostages. Thief.

  4. When did stick women replace voluptuos and curvy?

    Hi my new best friend. :)

    You stole this from The Hostages. Thief.

    I know, I’m so bad. I’m incapable of having an original thought.

  5. Stolen or not. . the truth will out. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Besides, if you didn’t have a sense of humor, no sane children would ever grow up and marriages would last about 6 weeks.

  6. Good advice for your daughter. Great observation too.

  7. Awesome. I wish more women understood how happy marrying a man who can make you laugh til you cry will make you. You rock

  8. That one on the right would look great if she were flashing some Brazilianed cooch. But that would be merely a small improvement.

  9. Any advice on where to find these guys? I can’t hold this grin much longer…LOL ;-)

  10. Oh, I love Wesley’s comment. You’re SO right about laughter (but you know we’re totally in line with each other on that one!).

    And the pouty chicks? I cannot express how badly I want to smack Victoria Beckham.

  11. *sniff* I’m all verklempt….can’t even respond except to say this is exactly what I wish for my Maddie as well…

  12. I’ll be home late tonight…my sense of humor class gets out at 9:00pm

  13. And exactly where was you camera when all this was happening???? Not that I need a picture with the description you gave. Adorable.

    Made me think of what kind of men my boys will grow up to be.

    Laugh until you pee your pants!

  14. I had a camera, but someone broke it last summer when they were taking pictures of me attempting to surf. Now I’m not gonna name any names or anything………….

  15. I’ll be home late tonight…my sense of humor class gets out at 9:00pm

    Are you gonna try to get a passing grade this semester?

  16. Laugh until you pee your pants!

    Should we?


  17. had a camera, but someone broke it last summer when they were taking pictures of me attempting to surf. Now I’m not gonna name any names or anything…………

    Oh ya,…. right….. Forgot about that. It really doesn’t work???? Guess I know what to buy you for your birthday ~ next year that is
    Darn, had this been posted last week, I could have done it for your birthday this year, but since it’s already past and all……………..

  18. You know, I really like the fact that you’re a smart ass. The post is actually up now if you want to read it. ;-)

  19. PJM,If you are looking for a camera, you can pick up a DSLR for $400+- . I know that is pricey but I have seen many non SLR cameras for $300+. I have a Nikon, they have Idiot settings that are great. If you want to learn the camera stuff it is there too. I am upgrading from the D50 to a D300, I would recommend a D40 or D60 (I think the 40 is better and newer than my 50) FWIW

    Whatever happened to the Fl Ace?

    I just was offered a job in South Carolina, I am thinking about moving there. The pay is $25/hr more than I am making now. Honest to god things like this do not happen to me, but they are offering me $58/hr He** I would move to Alaska for that $$

  20. Um……… $58 an hour? I think we’ll have the Florida Ace thingy in South Carolina. ;)

    I never seemed to be able to get the dang thing worked out. I was gonna try for this fall because I’m gonna be in Canada in June and then Denver for a week in the summer so I didn’t know when I’d get to plan it.

    *one of my favorite singers in the whole wide world is going on tour and he’s older than the hills, so I figure this is prolly his last tour ever and if he dies before I get to Canada I’m gonna be pissed. He has some nerve! I’m such a sweetie aren’t I?
    and yes, you guys can make fun of me if you want, but it’s Leonard Cohen.

  21. Oh and like I know what DSLR is? sheesh

  22. i definitely agree with you . they should smile or go fuckthemselves :-)

    kudos to your post.

  23. PJM – “D” always equals Digital nowadays.

  24. Oh yeah, well what does SLR mean then huh? huh?

  25. Stupid, lazy redneck?

  26. Hhhhmmmmmm, wonder how you would know that one huh Mark?

  27. Single Lens Reflex.

  28. I used to pay a lot of attention to beautiful girls/women, especially the ones with the model-like looks. What I learned from them is that many have little or no ability to form good relationships with people, mainly because they never had to.

    If you’re so pretty that every time you turn around someone is trying to become your friend, you may never learn the natural give-and-take that makes human relations possible. In fact, if you’re that beautiful, and you weren’t taught any better by your parents, you can become comfortable mistreating others right-and-left with very little consequence. There’s always another one just around the corner who’ll be nice to you until you get what you want.

    I pity those women because evenually their looks will fade and they’ll have learned none of the warmth and interest in others that makes people genuinely likable.

    And although my wife is beautiful, I’m grateful I didn’t marry any of the model types I met before her.

  29. Beautiful post here, I agree wholeheartedly

  30. Rittenhouse has said it exactly right. You look at the prom queen and captains of the football teams, and the cliques that they ran in, and rarely do you see satisfied people who have reached their own personal goal, whatever it was. Or even worse, feel far short of it because they never were taught that some things are worth working hard for. Some of the quietest kids I know have gone on to pursue what they loved (more than themselves) and seen/done/experienced some really cool things.

    Luckily, I got a package deal, a chick with brains (engineer, too!) – neither of us will ever be on the cover of a magazine and I’m happy to have it that way.

    And by the way…. Mark, us Stupid Lazy Rednecks’ feelings are easily hurt. We’re fragile, man. :)

  31. I smile ALL the time!
    Draw your own conclusions…

  32. hah, yeah me too.


  33. Lemur King – Don’t worry. Be happy.

    Some of my best friends are stupid and lazy. Rednecks, too.

  34. Heck, I’m smiling now!

  35. I am an outcast… an aerospace redneck engineer.

    I’m happy, really. I act theatrical because fake martyrdom is my way of laughing at the world, because in spite of it’s seriousness, it is ridiculous, too.

  36. I was thinking about this post and how pretty girls never smiled, then I realized…. Hey, Im pretty and I smile. Of course I have one of those big cheezy smiles. But not all of us hot pretty girls go around with the pout trying to look sophisticated and above everyone else. But I will agree~we are few and far between, arn’t we Kare-kare Fare-fare??

  37. we are few and far between, arn’t we Kare-kare Fare-fare??

    I guess..but I’ve NEVER thought of myself as pretty. I am cute and am always willing to go have a beer with the guys. Maybe because I was tortured so much by my sister that my sense of humor is well rounded and that is what is appealing……I just know it feels so good to laugh until it hurts. (Oh and Hellfire stop smiling til ya get that piece of spinach out of your teeth)

  38. I am cute and am always willing to go have a beer with the guys.

    Oh, is THAT what we’re calling it?


  39. “Maybe because I was tortured so much by my sister that my sense of humor is well rounded and that is what is appealing……”

    You know, I think there’s something to that. I was tortured by my older sister and thus, tortured my younger sister horribly- and we all have FABULOUS personalities and rockin’ sense of humors…

  40. And we’re all so, so modest. That’s my favorite part.

  41. and we all have FABULOUS personalities and rockin’ sense of humors…

    Sounds like the “fat chick blind date” disclaimer…

  42. I am cute and am always willing to go have a beer with the guys.

    to lots of guys that is pretty. Haven’t you heard the country song about how all the girls look prettier at closing time?

    Besides, you are pretty, you use to be cute in 4th grade, but you grew up to be pretty.

  43. Beer goggles rock! Yeah, never went to bed with an ugly woman but sure woke up with a few…

  44. PJM,
    Think 35mm.
    I know I am what? 4 days too late? Feh, your fat pict looked skinny to me!

  45. I know I am what? 4 days too late? Feh, your fat pict looked skinny to me!

    Comments like that will get you forgiven everytime.

  46. Jesus fucking Christ, I said SINGLE LENS REFLEX already.

    Not to mention my comment on the other thread about Kare-Kare has been ignored. And here I thought we had a thing, PJM…

  47. Mark,
    I saw that you did, and thought for a day or two that was good, but for some non camera people you get blank looks. Saying 35mm usually does the trick.
    PJM is a flirt, everybody loves her, and flirts back. Flatter her she will come back to you.

  48. *bats eyelashes coquettishly

  49. I said SINGLE LENS REFLEX already.

    Did someone say something?

  50. PJM is a flirt, everybody loves her, and flirts back. Flatter her she will come back to you.

    The assumption (or presumption, as it were) is that I would want her back at this point…

    I wait for no one.

  51. I’m dealing with multiple personalities here. I’m so confused.

    mark, abbaddon, old cloots

  52. Why did Constantinople get the works?
    That’s nobody’s business but the Turks

    Because it was part of the Byzantine Empire and was named for the Christian Holy Roman Emperor Constantine. Since Tuirkey is a Muslim country, they changed the name.

    Next question?

  53. Tuirkey?? Are you referring to Türkiye?

  54. Düşünüyorum: evet.

  55. […] and a whole bunch of other things wrapped up in a wisecracking package. And also there’s this. She had me at the farts, then she went all introspecty on me and I loved that […]

  56. I will tell you why pretty women don’t smile. In my case, it’s because I don’t feel happy. Society is probably a lot worse and less wholesome than it used to be. Pretty women attract men who just want to use us for sex and the hate/jealousy of women who are not so pretty. Maybe I should try it. I found your site looking up ‘why can’t I smile”.

  57. Girlfriend, you just need to hang out with different people. I’m pretty and I smile and I love to laugh and frankly, I don’t give a shit what people think.

    You attract who you are, if you are unhappy, you attract unhappy people.

    Remember, pretty is as pretty does.

    Fake it till you make it.

    I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true.

  58. All women are taught never to smile at a man because she looks like a slut if she does. Instead, women should look cold and aloof and men should stalk them.

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