Celebrating Mediocrity

I was at my son Graham’s “A/B” honor roll, “A” citizenship award ceremony a couple weeks ago and my interest was piqued at the awards given.

“A” honor roll? Of course. “A/B” honor roll? Sure, ok. The award that cracked me up was the, “Doing My Very Best Award”. It was for the “C” students. I’m sure the kids love it, who doesn’t like to get a ribbon at that age?

But a “C” is  doing their very best? Really?  I don’t think so. The award is actually insulting. Are they saying  these kids can’t do any better?  I’m pretty sure they can, it’s just our public school system’s never-ending quest to worry more about a student’s self-esteem, than encouraging them to do their very best.

Reminds me of why some of the schools got rid of dodge ball. It hurts kids’ self-esteem to be hit by the ball and knocked out of the game. There’s no spirit of cooperation in dodge ball, no hand holding, no climbing that mountain together and rising to the top. gag. 

It never failed. I was always the one who felt the sting of the ball on my butt the moment the game began. Did I lose self-esteem? No. Did it suck? Yeah. Did I want to cut myself over it? Maybe a little. Relax, I’m kidding. I was terrible at this game.  All it did was make me determined to get my eyes and my butt to act as a team to help me avoid the ball. Didn’t work, but I tried.

I’d like to think I’m teaching my kids to be productive members of society. I want to know that when I send them out to be an employee, a boss or business owner, they don’t think doing average work is acceptable, that they should get a ribbon for doing “ok”.

Sadly our school system has decided doing ok is fine. Why try harder if you’re going to get rewarded for mediocrity?  I understand teachers have their work cut out for them. They don’t have an easy job. They have to deal with rotten parents who let their kids get away with murder,  but that still doesn’t explain the shift in what society expects from this generation.

Parents can’t expect the schools to expect more from their kids if they themselves don’t expect squat from them. Parents don’t discipline their kids anymore. They’re afraid to or their lazy or they feel guilty. They require little of their children in terms of chores, personal responsibility and acceptable behaviors. They excuse their behaviors.  My favorite line is, it’s not little Johnny’s fault he behaves this way, he’s tired. I guarantee you little Johnny’s boss won’t give a rat’s ass if your precious is tired or not. Johnny’s boss is not going to be happy with mediocrity. Johnny will not get far in life, but hey, he did get that ribbon in school, right?

So to make up for this imbalance in society,  I’ve decided to give my kids a dose of castor oil and a firm flick on the head before I send them to bed an hour earlier each night. Oh and then tell them they better kick ass in school or else. Don’t you hate lame blog story endings?



No One’s Gonna Tell Me What To Do

I wound up staying at my parents house this past week while all the funerally stuff for Danny was going on and for some reason I became the child to my mother again. “Did you make your bed yet?” No. “Did you make your bed yet?” No. “You need to make your bed.”  Would my mother ask a real guest if they’d made their bed? Not on your life. Course a real guest prolly would have made their bed. Stupid brown nosers.

“Man I sure could use a beer Mom.  I’m gonna put some Coronas in the fridge.”

Mom: No, we don’t “let” our guests have more than two beers.

Me: What? What do you mean you don’t “let” your guests have more than two beers?

Mom: Nope, I pour our guests their beer and then another one and it doesn’t even dawn on me to pour them anymore. That stuff gets expensive. And you’ve already had over your alloted amount. (I’d had one and a half beers, 3 hours earlier)

This is when I show my true grown-upness. I show that I can stand on my own two feet and will not have anyone tell me what I can and cannot do. I’m 35 years old. I’m a mother of four. I am  woman hear me roar.

Me: Yeah? Well your perfume stinks!

Oh man, I’m good. I should have been a lawyer.

*sneaks more corona after mom leaves