No One’s Gonna Tell Me What To Do

I wound up staying at my parents house this past week while all the funerally stuff for Danny was going on and for some reason I became the child to my mother again. “Did you make your bed yet?” No. “Did you make your bed yet?” No. “You need to make your bed.”  Would my mother ask a real guest if they’d made their bed? Not on your life. Course a real guest prolly would have made their bed. Stupid brown nosers.

“Man I sure could use a beer Mom.  I’m gonna put some Coronas in the fridge.”

Mom: No, we don’t “let” our guests have more than two beers.

Me: What? What do you mean you don’t “let” your guests have more than two beers?

Mom: Nope, I pour our guests their beer and then another one and it doesn’t even dawn on me to pour them anymore. That stuff gets expensive. And you’ve already had over your alloted amount. (I’d had one and a half beers, 3 hours earlier)

This is when I show my true grown-upness. I show that I can stand on my own two feet and will not have anyone tell me what I can and cannot do. I’m 35 years old. I’m a mother of four. I am  woman hear me roar.

Me: Yeah? Well your perfume stinks!

Oh man, I’m good. I should have been a lawyer.

*sneaks more corona after mom leaves



  1. You do realize this is because you’re adopted right PJM? love, mom

  2. PJM – You have my most sincere sympathies (between laughs).

  3. That’s insane! More and more I find I was right in disowning my mom years ago.. they’re all nuts.
    Well, when they get old.

  4. I didn’t have to get old to be nuts. I’m already there.

  5. That’s awesome. Must remember and use your excellent comeback. Because my mom’s perfume stinks too.

    Good to have you back — hope you’re doing okay.

  6. Hey mommypie! Hey did you get out of the spambox? Get back in there! Get back! Get back!

  7. Chanel # 5 – The smell of Mommy.

  8. *sniff

    Old Spice or Brut MCPO?

  9. Royal Copenhagen!

  10. ((((hugs to you))))

  11. PJM,

    Hmmmm, wonder were the stubborness comes from, O I know sounds like you two are acting like a stubborn old man we know G J…lol

    Did you make your curfew Thursdays night as well… or were you locked out?…lol

  12. Does coming home at 4am mean I made curfew? ;)

  13. PJ – Iffin your curfew is 4:15 am, you done good.

  14. I didn’t have to get old to be nuts. I’m already there.

    I didn’t have to be old to get nuts.

    Got any BEER nuts in this joint?

  15. You were also on the debate team, right?

    Your stinky perfume comment is SO my comeback type, seriously. You should hear my brothers and I. Kind of like what you said to your mom, but with more profanity and the occasional use of the ultimate comeback word, “butt.”

  16. My favorite line is………….Turn Blue!

  17. Look out, PJM, mom’s coming and she looks PISSED!

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