Garren’s Checklist

Several times a day since I’ve had my tummy tuck my 4 year old Garren comes in to check on me, not out of concern, but curiosity, kinda like seeing a carnival freak show.

“Mom, can I see the bruise on your bootie?”

“Mom, can I see your blood thing?” (my stent drain)

“Mom can I see your new bellybutton?”

“Mom, can I see your gold tooth?” (not sure how my crown worked it’s way into this)

The day of the procedure I came home and the kids were dying to see me. Before they came in my room my mother warned them,  “Do NOT touch your mother because it will hurt her, she’s in pain.”

Garren’s standing over me going thru his checklist of things to see for the first time and he was just so cute I couldn’t resist cupping his little face in my hand. He said, “Mom! Don’t touch me! Are you in pain?” Poor kid thinks he’s the reason for my pain. (If he only knew)

Ok, gonna show some of my photos under the fold, if you’re squeamish don’t look. Any perverted comments about my backside will be deleted.

Picture taken on day of procedure 6/5/08

left hip (below)

These two bootie bruise shots were taken the day after 6/6/08

right hip (below)

Yes the bruises go all the way to the top of the bandage.

This is how I look today. Very swollen still. Drain does not come out till Friday.

right hip (below)

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97 Comments

  1. Oh my LORD Woman! You’ve GOT to be in some serious pain. Maybe I missed it, but what did they do to your bootie? I thought it would just be your tummy that was affected. And I can only assume since I’m the first commenter, and knowing your audience, all the other’s were deleted. HA!

  2. I’m guessing he lipo’d there, maybe? Well I think he lipo’d my hips and waist. I don’t really know. But I’m sore and you’re the first commenter, but I only posted it a bit ago. Pain’s not so bad slowly weaning myself off oxycodone. Haven’t had any since 6 this morning.

  3. Hmmmm…you make me want to embrace my elephant knee skin tummy and forego the tuck. I had breast reduction years ago, and that pales in comparison to the photos you posted. How are you holding up?

  4. sore, but good :)

  5. I see boobage!!

    How are you even laying down on those bruises?? Geee-AWD! And by perverted, do you mean I can’t tell you that you have the perfect ass? Ok. I won’t tell you. I don’t want to be deleted. I hate when that happens.

  6. ssshhhhhhhhhhh! hooligans, you can’t let people know about us. Not now, not like this.

    i’m going to have to ban you. This will hurt me as much as it does you.

  7. Ouch. Hope everything goes well.

  8. Mmmmmm PJM Boo-tay!
    oh
    and so glad you are doing well

  9. This is nothing compared to working with dead people. Hope all goes well with you and that you heal quickly. Take care!

  10. thanks eddiebear and wp dunn.

    This is nothing compared to working with dead people.

    becky, I thought you were a teacher or is that the same thing?

  11. lol?

  12. cont’d

  13. con’td

  14. there’s bart! I’ve missed you!

  15. Gee, and all I get is Ritalin and beer!

  16. impressive contusion, btw

  17. ritalin for what mcpo?

    contusion eh? are we using the thesaurus today?

  18. btw bart, I was just on the hostages wondering where u were

  19. bug flies into reporter’s mouth causing him to turn into Chris Tucker

    http://www.break.com/index/bug-in-mouth-brings-out-the-street-in-reporter.html

  20. bart come back to the hostages, we miss you oever there

    *grabs bart by the arm tries to forcibly remove him from the room realizes it’s not humanly possible

  21. Bart! Great to see you! Those screenshots were hilarious!

    Glad you’re doing better, PJM!

  22. And aren’t kids so unintentionally cute?

  23. im in ur blog

    squattin

  24. that’s fine dear

    *pats bart on the head

    you squat as long as you need to sweetcheeks

  25. OUCH!

    Any perverted comments about my backside will be deleted.

    How about perverted comments about your boobs?

    :oD>

    I hope you feel better soon, sweetie!

  26. sweetcheeks

    Ace knows about those cheeks very well.

  27. haha this fail pic made me lol.

    lol you too?

  28. HAHAHAHAHA! in fact so much it hurt my stomach- jerk

  29. Bart – That fail pic is one of the best! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  30. yeah, i like the looks on their little faces, especially

  31. yep, I’ll favorite that one

  32. OUCH!! Wow, those are scary looking. The bruises, silly.
    Hope your hanging in there and feeling better!

  33. bug flies into reporter’s mouth causing him to turn into Chris Tucker

    That is some funny shit right there. Those are some pretty bad bruises. I don’t know what a stent is and don’t think i want to know.

  34. I just got this flash of Garren with a little clipboard and a pencil behind his ear. HAHAHAHA!

  35. That’s funny you say that MCPO because anytime we go to the beach or the pool he says:

    bathing suit- check
    goggles- check
    towel- check
    sumscream- check
    squib- check (he has a battery operated toy squid that he likes to take in the pool)

  36. Sumscream – SPF50

    Some scream – When rolling over onto their bruises

  37. A gif for the morning lol…

    bouncing tits

  38. Well, my wife used to let me read a “girl’s blog” until you posted that derriere shot.

    *cleanses cache*

    *erases Favorite*

    *thinks again*

  39. ahhhhhh, I’m sorry Michael, sorry Michael’s wife.

    I asked my mom if it looked clinically enough darnit

  40. Assload of fail! That’s freaking awesome.

    Hope you’re feeling better PJ.

  41. Whoa lady! I love me some gross photos, but something about that blood drainage system exceeded my “ewww!” limit.

    Can’t wait to see the bikini pics! That will replace the above with a pleasant image!

  42. ahhhhhh, I’m sorry Michael, sorry Michael’s wife.

    Oh my god, someone needs to grow a pair…

    Okay, I’m kidding. Don’t have a cow… :oD>

  43. Oh my god, someone needs to grow a pair…

    No don’t say that…then we’ll have to witness the removal and aftermath of that surgery. ew!

  44. Anyone can find a prurient aspect to those pictures has a s-e-r-i-o-u-s problem!

  45. MCPO..do you use words like “prurient” when you speak? I think I will call you Mr. Shmarty.

  46. Kare-kare- Why yes I do. You may thanks the Jesuits who “stressed” vocabulary in my all male high school.

  47. I had to go look the word up. Seems like it would be irritating to pronounce, like rural. I do not like to say the word rural.

  48. “Country-assed” is considered a proper synonym for “rural”.

  49. the word budge always sounds strange to me and I always have a hard time saying humiliated.

    all male high school, ouch.

  50. Kare-kare – Only for two years. The gender segregation wasn’t bad but, the Jesuits were!

  51. The gender segregation wasn’t bad but, the Jesuits were!

    Priests and gender segregation – Like peanut butter and jelly, what?

    Was that salacious?

    Oh dear…methinks another trip to the dictionary might be in the offing.

  52. Never happened to me. As Dom Irrea says, “What? Little Dominick wasn’t good enough for you?”

  53. How’s it go…? Half Nelson…Full Nelson…and Fr. Nelson? Can’t remember the positions cuz I’m a girl…I’ll have to ask my brother.

  54. Mr. Nelson was my photo teacher in high school I really liked him.

  55. It was Fr. McGrath at St. Francis. He smelled of Irish whiskey and cigars.

  56. this is what I was getting at…

    Father Nelson …

    Two dads from the neighborhood were standing around watching their kids play on the playground. These guys are always trying to top each other with new jokes.

    One of the dads, Pete, pipes up and asks Bob if he knew anything about wrestling. Bob proceeds to tell him a thing or two, and walks up behind Pete and puts his right arm through his right armpit and his hand on Pete’s neck.

    “What’s this called?” Bob asks.

    “That’s a half-nelson,” Pete says as his right arm was pushed up over his head.

    “Very good, Petey,” Bob replied. “Now, what’s this?”

    He did the same exact thing to Pete’s left arm leaving him with both hands over his head while standing behind him.

    “That’s a full-nelson,” Pete said, trying to figure out what Bob’s joke could be.

    “Right!” Bob said. Then, remaining behind Pete with both his hands forcing Pete’s over by putting pressure on his neck, Bob bent Pete over and began grinding his hips into his ass.

    “So what’s this?” Bob said.

    “I don’t know,” Pete admitted.

    Bob shouted, “It’s a Father Nelson!”

  57. As for the teach…he retired a long time ago. He also ran over his grand daughter with his truck and was devastated. She only suffered a broken arm but that ruined him. It was a total accident.

  58. Kare- kare – that joke is O-L-D! One more of those, and I’ll have to call Dr. Lou Czar to counsel you! ;-)

  59. No no…please don’t. I know it’s old. Quick throw some big words into the mix and we can move along.

  60. I’m perspicacious enough to see through your diversions!

  61. Thank you hot stuff!

  62. Where the hell are you?….isn’t it past ur bed time?

  63. I’m in Pennsylvania. I’m one of those Appalachians that Obama finds so bitter. My tee-time tomorrow isn’t until 10:30, so I’m up.

  64. Your son says bootie? He rocks.

  65. I must have scared off Kare-kare when she realized that I’m a gun-toting, Bible clinging hillbillie.

  66. I’m impressed by MCPO’s brobdingnagian vocabulary…

  67. Nah…I’m still here. I took a popcorn break with the older kids. They never say thank you.

  68. Shouldn’t that be “Bible-clinging hillbilly”??? (i.e. with a hyphen and a “y”?) Where’s Muslihoon when you need a grammar check??????

  69. I just saw the picture of you with your dad – quite fetching!

  70. brobdingnagian

    Had to look that up.

  71. It means the same as gi-normous, right?

  72. quite fetching!

    My Dad, right? :)

  73. Your son says bootie? He rocks.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s bootie, not bootay.

  74. PJM go to bed!

  75. Kare-kare – Just as I was starting to flirt. . . you chase off the big sister!

  76. you chase off the big sister!

    She is bruised and my mother will be leaving tomorrow…it’s time for her to rest. Just cuz it’s her blog doesn’t mean we need her. Sheesh!

  77. Well, I’m going to bed. I’ll be dreaming about Kare-kare. . . hitting a perfect 3-iron to the green on number 10. Zzzzzzzzzzz

  78. Zzzzzzzzzzz

    Night Puddin…..

  79. You’re so rad kare-kare. You tell me you have to get off gmail cuz you have to hang out with Mr. kare-kare, but where do I find you? On my blog! hhhhmph!

    And where’s bart?

  80. Lance is lame (runny poops) and the chills…I think he’s gettin sick. He drank a glass of wine to please me but I think that made things worse. He is in bed like a baby (whiner whore skank) and hopefully he will be normal tomorrow.

    I am making cupcakes for L’s graduation and I am picking up edible flowers for the decorations…you think that will be a nice touch? I hope..I gotta drive to O.B. for them. I think it will look pretty on top of the cupcakes…I will take pic’s.

    I can’t believe she is leaving for school…it will be cool!

  81. My goodness…it’s 10p and I’m so tired. Night sweetness! I need to get up and go running in the morning, it’s weird I am starting to crave it. I never thought I’d be a runner…crazy?

  82. um………….goodnight?

    love you mean it

  83. It means the same as gi-normous, right?

    Yep. Now, for the big money, give me the etymology.

    So, did your putter stand on end dreaming of Kare-Kare’s Number 10 hole?

    Night Puddin’

    GAAAAK!

  84. OW! Ow! OWIE! Ow.

    Shoot, I need a drink.

    Dang, it’s ten in the morning.

  85. Merciful Heavens! The pain kinda reaches out right through the monitor and grabs you.

    Here’s hoping for a quick recovery, PJM.

    Remember to save any leftover happy pills for all your friends!

  86. For the love of GOD woman!!! What are you doing posting that shit!!

    It’s Horrifying, it’s almost painful to view, It’s Brutal, and Gory, and

    OH OOOOH SO HOT!!!

    GRRRRRR.

    (I hope you guys know that that is a joke)

  87. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re a goof

  88. Anyone can find a prurient aspect to those pictures has a s-e-r-i-o-u-s problem!

    I guess I’m just sick.

  89. There’s a visine for that.

  90. As there seems to be some confusion over the word “prurient,” let me illustrate.

    update from pajama momma: gah, you’re right rittenhouse! I deleted your link cuz I’m mortified from it and fixed the photo myself.

    *blushes

  91. I really should have blocked that out. I even asked my mother in my drug induced state if it would be ok to post and my ultra, uber conservative mother was like, it’s fine.

    so there I go and now I’m mortified. Is there any chance you can black that part out for me rittenhouse and I’ll put the more modified version in?

  92. omg aunty!!!
    whyy is this hapning to you?

  93. pretty sweet huh?

  94. OOOOOWWWWW!

  95. c”est tre grave quand meme d voire

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