Warning: Bad Mom Alert!

I was reminded today of an incident that occurred when my now 10 year old son was 4.

Graham was looking into the microwave watching the food spin round and round.

Whatcha doin Graham?

Watching you cook.


  1. You know you’re in trouble when your children think a “home-made” cake comes out of a box!

  2. Makes me think of my Grandma’s old Amana Radar Range. You could have fit a 4 year old Graham inside ot the thing…while he was sitting in a Chevette.

  3. we keep tellin you , you are hawt!

  4. You remember your family’s first microwave? It was Christmas, and we all sat around to watch a cup of water boil.

    My dumb@$$ cousin opens the door, says “I don’t believe it’s really hot” and plunges his hand into the supersaturated water, causing it all to boil violently. What should have been a finger burn turned into a “half your hand is sloughing away” burn.

    I laughed my ass off at him and said “You dumb@$$!” He wasn’t the sharpest marble in the knife drawer.

    Hi PJM!

  5. A home-made cake does come out of a box. Even Alton Brown admits you can’t make a cake much better than what you get pre-packaged.

  6. Alice H – Bah! Humbug I say! ;-)

  7. I agree with Alice H. Cakes out of a box are just more moist, they’re fluffier and less dense. I still can’t get my homemade icing to be not quite so grainy. I’m not a pastry fan, but my kids like cake any way they get it, out of the box or from scratch. They just didn’t like the one time I put coffee in the (homemade) icing to give it a mocha flavor, I thought it was good.

    BiW- my grandma used to cook off a woodburning stove. One time in the early 80’s maybe late 70’s their house burnt down and instead of putting in a new, modern up to date stove, they put another woodburning one in. And this is in San Diego, not the Ozark mountains (course that’s where they’re from)

    Lemur- Hi! long time no see! The story of your poor cousin made my stomach churn. I remember when we got our first microwave. My dad had gotten a new job, so to celebrate, they bought a microwave.It was the size of a mainframe.

    I will admit when I was a kid I put a June bug in there and *POOF, it just disappeared.

  8. My cousin learned a valuable lesson… microwaves work. Dad still has that microwave to this day.

    In college we once tried to see how long an egg (in shell) could be nuked before it popped. Nine minutes is the correct answer.

    Except eggs are a really really sturdy pressure vessel. When it exploded the microwave door few open and we were showered with hot shell fragments, burning-hot scrambled egg, and the kitchen was *covered* in a stucco of rapidly cooling/hardening/drying egg fragments. It was a mess beyond imagining.

  9. Did the egg thing. It wasn’t catastrophic to the microwave, but it WAS a high order detonation. And since I didn’t know eggs would do that, I had my first heart attack at the tender age of 12.

  10. He wasn’t the sharpest marble in the knife drawer. That cracked me up!

    when I was a kid I put a June bug in there and *POOF, it just disappeared. And did you do it again to see if it was a magic trick? Heh.

  11. “we keep tellin you , you are hawt!”

    Um, the post was about food in the microwave, not PJM in the microwave.
    Damn, you’d think this is the first time some people ever read a woman’s blog.

    FTR, I’ve never had a cake made from scratch from anyone that was any better than cake mix cake. Frosting, yes, but not the cake.

  12. The only cake I’ve made better from scratch is carrot cake. I haven’t been able to find a carrot cake boxed mix that’s better than scratch. For all the others, boxes are better. So yeah, box cakes are an awesome miracle of the modern age.

  13. Ok, I have been reprimanded re: box cakes. All y’all can have them. I prefer when my Missus bakes homemade. Her “tunnel of fudge” cake is to die for.

  14. Not too long ago I almost burned the house down when I put a mini-popcorn pack in the microwave for 5 minutes. It was burning and one fire by minute #3. Not good- especially since my wife is the one who found it.

  15. Hah, my daughter almost did that the other day with a bean burrito. I told her to put it in for 1 minute and 32 seconds. She put it in for 13 minutes 20 seconds. It still stinks in there.

    I’ll bet your microwave and house didn’t smell so hot after that TTF.

    Prudie- Ohhhhh, you evil woman. I haven’t thought about carrot cake in quite a while. I don’t care for cake much, but every once in a while a bite of two of carrot cake rocks!!!

    chocolate and beer are my vices

  16. Wow, you actually cooked things in the microwave first?

    I just give stuff to my kids raw. Even hot dogs.

    It’s just more convenient for me that way.

    Bad mom,

  17. I {heart} microwaves. Now if only I could take one camping. :)

  18. Deb- I’ve given them raw food before, but cleaning up the resulting diarrhea was not worth it to me.

    Joni- Um, how bad will I look if I actually admit I brought a microwave camping last summer? No, I was not in an RV, I was tent camping. I also got these sweet little fans that clip to the top of the tent to blow air on me (I freaking hate being hot) and of course I have to have my blow up mattress.

    I’m a bad tent camper.

  19. Don’t tell me you burn water when you try to boil it

  20. well, I’m no dadshouse that’s for sure. ;)

  21. Aw, the microwave! My husband tells horror stories from his childhood about all the meals his mother would cook in the microwave. My favorite is peanut butter soup….ew.

    Does anyone remember the old commercials for craftmatic bed? -when you bought one you received the free gift… color t.v. or the “I got the microwave!” (I can still hear that old lady voice) {{shudder}}

  22. Kare-kare – Has anyone seen that old lady’s cat recently?

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