Ahhhhhhh, A Holiday Weekend And Mom Sleeps In

Shah, as if.

I’ve always had this naive little fantasy that if I let my kids stay up late, they’ll sleep in the next day. Nope, they still wake up at 7, but they also wake up grouchy and annoying.

I was in such a deep sleep this morning. Oh, so, cozy, prolly even dreaming before my nightmare began. The nightmare of the morning process.

Garren enters room: Mom can you change the channel? It’s Yo Gabba Gabba and I want to watch Spongebob

Madeleine: No! I want to watch Yo Gabba Gabba

Ok, Garren since Yo Gabba Gabba was already on we have to finish it and then you can watch Spongebob.

I hate Yo Gabba Gabba!

Too damn bad. It’s already on, so deal.

*sweet, I still got to stay in bed to solve that one

Graham enters room: Hey mom!


Graham: Remember that tooth I lost the other day? Well look, this tooth is loose now too!

Oh, gee, wow Graham that’s great. Now let me sleep.

*closes eyes to attempt sleep

Madeleine enters room: Mom, you know that cartoon we were just watching? There was girl in there named Madison.

Oh wow, how cool. That’s very similar to Madeleine isn’t it? Now go away so I can sleep.

Gavin enters room: Gaykin…….mom (Gavin doesn’t quite get that speed is the key to putting a sentence together, he still has a pause between each word.  translation: Can I have some bacon mom?)

Grrrrrrrrrrrr! There’s no weasling out of this one, I have to get up

Hears Garren at the dining room table: Oh Garren’s hungry for a bowl of cereal. His tummy is growling. (I forgot to mention Garren only speaks in the 3rd person)

I get up, notice Gavin has a diaper that needs to be changed. (ok I lied, Madeleine told me it needed to be changed) I change it, make the gaykin and a bowl of cereal and I talk to no one because I don’t want to fully wake myself up. I deal the goods out and hop back into bed.

Graham enters room: Mom can I have a bowl of cereal?

Sure Graham, go ahead, make one.

I’m thinking muther fucker! Why are you asking me if  you can have a bowl of cereal? Just make it and eat the damn thing.

Madeleine enters room: Mom can I have a pancake with marshmellows cut up on top. (she’s always trying to think of different toppings for her pancakes)

At this point I don’t care, I just want to be left alone. If she had asked for the entire bag of marshemellows I prolly would have let her. I’m so glad she didn’t.

Garren enters room: Mom, can I play your computer?

Ok, I give up. I quit.  Final Score:  Kids – 4  Mom- 0

Madeleine enters room: Mom can I just have a marshmellow and no pancake?

Madeleine, why don’t you guys bug your dad for anything in the morning? Seriously why?

Because he would say no.

I get it now. I’ve been labeled. I’m the pushover.


(and before any of you get started with your, well back in the day, I had to milk the cow myself to get milk for my cereal, I just want to tell you that you can bugger off)