I Am Going To Kill Whoever Opened The Bag Inside The Cereal Box This Morning

This is not an actual photo of what happened after I poured my daughter a bowl of cereal from the poorly opened box of non-frosted corn flakes this morning. (see how good a mom I am? non –frosted, please forget about the four Dum-Dum lollipops each of them have already eaten today)  I would be thrilled if my kitchen was this clean.

I’ve actually toyed with the idea of getting a  Roomba. How cool would that be? I would just lie on the couch  (hah, I can never realistically do that because as soon as I lay down, there’s always some kid jumping on me) and let the Roomba do all the work.

All the dog hair and food crumbs would magically disappear and I wouldn’t have to lift a finger. I would paint my nails. I would read a book. I would put my swim suit on and soak up the sunshine in my backyard. I almost couldn’t write that little ditty right there without cracking the heck up.

Realistically what would happen is the Roomba would alternate between having the dog attack it and getting held up on a toy or piece clothing that just couldn’t make it to the toy box or laundry basket. @#$% is up with that? Why can the laundry make it to the outside of the laundry basket, just not in? How much extra energy needs to be expended to take it that next step?

I can’t wait till I’m grown up and can afford a weekly maid service, instead of the twice a year before my mother in law comes to town service.


And I suppose I could also just pay attention to how the cereal box was opened before I poured it. I despise simple solutions


  1. Well, I won’t post pictures of teh “opening the big bag of cheetos” disaster….

  2. At least it’s not as sticky as the orange juice my daughter trip to pour herself a glass of…and at eighteen you’d think she’d have that down. Apparently someone needs some remedial help when it comes to that sort of thing. Made me wish I had a wet/dry vac.

    I’ve often considered getting a Roomba….but with a seven month old Goldendoodle puppy, and two cats, not to mention a toddler, I think it would last about a month…if that!

  3. If you get a Roomba, you’ll have to keep stuff picked up so that it can clean. And you’ll want to give your rugs a good vacuuming before you start using it the first time. It’s more a maintenance tool than an initial cleanup tool.

    Ours lasted about a year. We have four cats, a dog, and two kids. We used the heck out of it. We’ve also got a Scooba that only lasted a couple of months.

  4. I had a Roomba and I LOVED it. Then the battery would no longer take a charge and I never found the time to go get a replacement. I would set that thing to run and leave for work in the mornings. It was nice to be able to walk barefoot in the kitchen after that.

    Also, be glad it was corn flakes instead of some sort of round cereal flakes that roll. Then they’ll roll right under the fridge and dishwasher. Dammit. Who’s idea was it to make round cereal anyway…

  5. wooohooo! Dum Dums

    Green Apple ftw!

    (for the win)

  6. You’re too funny. Get a roomba, let the dog attack it, put up a live webcam feed, make it Pay Per View. You’ll get rich in no time!

  7. That happens to us all. I just did it yesterday with mini wheats.

  8. b-rad- opening chips is the worst! I’ve felt like jumping on them a time or two to open the bag, however, the results are less than satisfactory.

    Auds- hahaha, I’ll bet an 18 year old is as good at clean up as a 6 year old is. I can just picture the shoes sticking to the floor now.

    Alice- I would love to get a roomba. It was on my Christmas list one year, however, I just don’t think I’d be able to be clutter free enough to have one. Maybe the next time the maids come? Oh and they’re the best service ever.. I’m always embarrassed when they come and I sneak out as quickly as possible. I don’t want to be in the house when they’re cussing me out. But seriously, they rock. The house smells so good after they leave.

    T- I refuse to look under my fridge and stove. I’d rather not know how many alphabet magnets and cereal balls and who knows what else is under there. {{{shudder}}}

    bartwing- you can have the green apple as it leaves more rootbeer for me.

    dadshouse- wouldn’t it just be easier to mudwrestle and post that online?

    totaltransformation- frosted or unfrosted? ;)

  9. We have a Roomba! The kids love playing their part (move a couple of chairs it tends to get stuck under; roll up the fringe-edged rug) and switching it on. Wolf Dog ignores it.

    It is loud, so it’s a good leave-the-house-for-an-hour tool. Leaves the hardwoods and rugs spotless, though.

  10. you have to ask, frosted of course.

  11. They make remote controls for Roombas. So mounting a webcam on it might be worthwhile, LOL!

    Which reminded me of the scene in The Big Bang Theory where the camera on the RC car and then Wollowitz tried to get an upskirt shot of Penny.

  12. Roombas freak me out but at the same time I want one. I always think of the movie iRobot where the “helper” robots all turn against the humans and take over the world, thne will smith saves everyone. Except in my nightmare, the roombas go on strike and the Dust Bunnies take over the world and Will Smith is too busy with his “NOT Scientology” Charter school to help.

  13. I think the Roomba would choke up on the PopTart pieces scattered by Heir No. 2.

  14. Rittenhouse- So what you’re telling me is that the Roomba will only work in households where the kids willingly clean in a spirit of cooperation? Damn the bad luck!

    Totaltransformation- hah! sorry that was evil of me. course I’m sure no one in your household was using dum-dums to buy silence, right?

    Alice H- A webcam on the Roomba? I’m sure there’s some kinky bastards out there that would like that too.

    KD- Hah! I’m glad I have you to keep me hip. I had no idea about Will Smith’s “NOT Scientology” school. I’ve worked for scientologists before at a chiropractic clinic. Let’s just say, I don’t work for them anymore.

    BiW- frosted or unfrosted?………..sorry, I couldn’t resist

  15. Oh my Gah! I am so with KD…I too am afraid the Roomba will develop artificial intelligence and vacuum me into an alternate universe while I sleep.

  16. Fuck simple solutions, I say risk the Roomba. It’s worth a shot at sanity.

  17. I like my roomba. It always shuts itself off under a bead or a couch when it’s finished, though, so I have to go hunting for the thing.

    Stupid robot.

  18. beasd

  19. SDM- alternate universes are handy on bad hair days

    tesco- you’re so punk ;)

    mesa- you were caring me when I first saw the word “bead” I thought maybe your metrosexual crafy side was coming out

  20. Frosted Strawberry…if I don’t have any in the house, it is as close to a calamity as I ever want to get with him.

  21. I’ve had a Roomba for 5 years now. I love it. I also have a remote control to aim it in athe direction I need it to hit first. Cleans tile and wood flooring really nice.

  22. Mrs. Pupster liked her Roomba until the novelty wore off, now it sits in corner plotting against me. Like its MY fault.

  23. BiW- I miss the days when I could eat stuff like that and not suffer from it.

    Becky and Pupster-I think I’m going to have to request a Roomba as a present. The next holiday is Labor Day. I think that’s rather fitting don’t you?

    and it IS your fault

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