Ahhhh, A Relaxing Hobby

I figured with all the crazy going on in my life lately, I needed to do something just for me.  I wanted to take a class. A class that didn’t require studying, or tests or term papers.

Something that was relaxing. Something stress free. I got myself the “adult learning” flier from the library to see what I could find. Maybe some sort of knitting or sewing class?

Once back in the day, I got myself the, “Learn to Knit” guide, video included. I got my knitting needles, my yarn and I started the video. They presented the first stitch. I could not do it. I rewound the video and tried again. I could not do it. I rewound the video again….finally after doing this several times, pjdaddy exclaimed, “For the love of God! Give me those needles and I’ll show you the stupid stitch!”

I gave up on the idea of making anything from “Vogue Knitting” and went about my life.


The adult learning center flier said it had crochet classes. I sooo signed up.  I didn’t really know much about crochet, but it had to be similar to knitting, right? I mean they both use yarn and a needle, or two, but this time I’d have a real teacher.

Oh man, this is gonna be great. I’m going to be able to crochet myself some blankets for those long winter nights in north Florida when the avg temperature gets down to like, 44 degrees or something. brrrrrr!

I got my yarn, I got my needles and I fantasized about all the things I was going to make once I learn how to do this stuff. Hurry up first day of class!

First day of class: I walked into the classroom and was horrified. I knew I’d walked into Grandma Hell, when I saw they were all drooling over a crochet magazine that had this: 



Doesn’t matter. Apparently I’m incapable of crocheting. I am not even good enough to make that non-drug induced crocheted straight out of the trailer park flashback .

I can’t do a double stitch. Teacher said it’s because I talk too much. This could be true.  I’ll just have to bring the instructions home and have pjdaddy show me how it’s done.

Seriously though, not a fan of crochet. Knitting- Pretty. Crocheting- Not pretty.

Since I paid for this class, I will finish…….um, and I suppose  I’ll admit it’s still a break from the kids, so, I will not give up! I will learn this thing called crochet and make each and every one of you the following for Christmas.


What? You know you want it.


  1. This is another reason why we should live closer. I have a ton of crochet stuff and I’m currently making a blanket for Soldiers’ Angels, where they need a ton of them for vets in the hospital and for transporting patients, etc… They want blankets that have patriotic colors and are masculine looking. So, hot pink was out. Heh. I found a great pattern in one of my books and I’m about 1/4 of the way through.

    I have a really simple crochet project of Yellow Ribbon scarves that I will post on my Belle’s Best blog this weekend, hopefully. I’m trying to see if I can recruit folks to help and then donate them to the family members of soldiers to wear in their honor. I’ll email the pattern to you and maybe you can try it.

    And I would NEVER make those silly things pictured above. WTF?!!

    Oh, and I have been looking into sewing classes too. I don’t want to sew clothes so much but I want to make decorating items like window treatments, pillows, table cloths, quilts, etc…

  2. I will be looking forward to my banana split….get crackin! Oh, will you also make me one of those “southern bell” doll toilet paper roll covers for me?

    ( in case you have never seen one. it’s a click away)


  3. Can I have a beer can gown instead of a banana split? I’ll buy you the beer!

  4. Oh my goodness. Just what we all need. A non-edible banana split.

    Um. Yeah.

  5. You should just go back to WoW. It’s probably just as productive. What server were you on?

  6. I don’t know. I just don’t see you as a knitter or crocheter.
    Still, I totally think that knit banana split (or is it a crochet sundae?) needs to be a PJ Momma blog giveaway.

  7. That would make the best White Elephant gift for Christmas! Or…for a blog giveaway! Too funny.

  8. I think I got the better end of the deal with “Beers with wiser and wiserbud”.

  9. Yup – You are just a hot flash away from being an expert in this stuff! :-D

  10. This is hysterical! It reminds me of the Macramee set I got when I was seven………….

  11. I’ll email you my home address…I want that crochet’d Ice Cream Sunday Bonanza dammit! Do I have to wait til Christmas??

    I tried to teach my daughter to knit PJ…and crochet. 10 books and 2 videos later, she’s still has that sad…”my mommy’s a loser” look on her face when she sees anything knitting related. I think it’s genetics or at the very least…a minimum number of age spots, before the knitting ability kicks in.

  12. Is that cactus a prickly pear?

    I’m so glad you are blogging again. I almost choked on my lunch when I saw you had a new post. Woohoo!

    Now go crochet me a margarita – it’s almost happy hour!

  13. Well whilst you’re taking orders and all, may I please have some new hot pan trivets. In deep blue please. Oh and some in white.

    That would be lovely!

    Oh and you’re back!!!!! I’ve missed you. Or were you not gone and I’m just hallucinating?

  14. Why don’t you just shock the crap out of them and show up with crocheted genitalia?

    You could make a crocheted vagina that doubles as a purse…

  15. CB- Now that right there is a reason to learn crochet. I’d love to be a Soldier’s Angel IYKWIMAITYD. Now sewing I can do, sorta kinda. I’m currently working on a hot pink and chocolate duvet cover for Madeleine’s room and then matching Thomas the Tank Engine blanket for Garren and Gavin’s room.

    kare-kare- yours will be a surprise, nuff said

    Alice H- hahaha, egad. You think I can find Newcastle in a can?

    T- I cannot imagine why anyone made that thing unless they’re like me and like to give obnoxious gifts. It’s better to just know in advance they’ll hate your gift than to spend all sorts of time getting what you think is the perfect gift and having them wind up hating it anyways.

    Will- Thorium Brotherhood. Are you on a server? I always have this temptation to play again especially since Graham is now a 60 and I’m only a 51. It’s very difficult to go on a raid and then find someone needs a diaper change.

    SDM- always so clever, made me LOL……giveaway huh? I think you and Joni might be onto something

    Joni- what’s your address?

    BiW- Hhhhhmmm, I’m still debating that one.

    airdale- just your kinda woman huh?

    teachthemasses- OMG! I’d forgotten about macrame. I had a macrame plant hanger. It would have gone nicely with one of these.

    hooligans- I have a freckle mustache, does that not count for something?

    dadshouse- you’re first on my list for one of these babies, oh and another beanie. sweet, eh?

    Auds- do you really want me to answer the hallucinating question?

    Abbadon- I got what you’re looking for right here

  16. LMFAO!!!

    Now how about a nice matching dick for that to complete the ensemble?

  17. I’m on Dragonblight and I just cracked 32 on my first. Don’t know how long I really intend to stick with it, but so far it’s been entertaining.

  18. It’s definitely the project — crocheting arigurumi food the first crack out isn’t going to show you some of the lovely things. I will admit that knitting is far superior for things like socks. A fun blog to check out, by the way, is http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/

  19. i like the banana split!!!

  20. Meanwhile there are there a wooly banana split melting and those kids still have not eaten!

  21. Will- I don’t know what Dragonblight is, but I’m gonna google it right now.

    livingdeadgirl- that is the best crochet site ever. thank you

    docwunney- I know what you’re getting for your birthday

    elroy- they don’t eat because my favorite manager isn’t at the pizza restaurant anymore

  22. I know how to crochet. Learned the basic stitches from a friend in college and taught myself the rest. Have no clue how to knit and would like to as knitted stuff does look much more put together or fluid or something. Definitely better looking as a sweater or scarf.
    Though I do have a great pattern for a crocheted American flag throw.

  23. Girlfriend, you so need to hang with the hip knitters like ME. I never DID finish MP’s baby blanket when I was prego, but I DID take a fall class a few years back and made MP’s Christmas stocking. Which was actually really fun.

    I know. Dork.

  24. Totally don’t get knitting or crochet-ing. I mean…for real? It seems like the kind of thing people do while they’re doing something else they really enjoy. Like how people watch television while they snap the ends of green beans. Shit that has to be done – but you can watch TV while you do it. That’s knitting, right?


  25. Porknbeasn- there’s a possiblity I’ll teach myself the rest as well, however, it will be knitting instead

    mommypie- hey, you know how 40 is the new 30? Well that’s like it is with knitting. Dork is the new cool………right? *cough

    random- I don’t freaking get it, just figured I needed to know how to do something when I’m an old lady

  26. Why is it that all the cool stuff is knitted and all the crap is crocheted? I’ve been crocheting since I was a kid (knitting made me crazy) (I’m 47) and all the magazines for crochet had stuff like THIS (http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/) WTF?
    But NOW we crocheters are getting stuff like this ! http://www.interweavecrochet.com/
    Now thats something I can use.

  27. Noooooooooooo! I insulted the Zen master of crochet! Spare me! Teach me the way. I’m a willing student. I’m am your grasshopper.

    Very cool linky. I appreciate it as I was thinking there was no hope for me and crochet. I love you!

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