The Littlest Health Guru

As most of you know, my family has ALWAYS been fascinated with alternative medicine and holistic health.We were quite poor and in the hopes of avoiding a costly doctor’s appt, my mom got the book, “back to eden”. This book is stuffed full of herbal medicinal recipes.

While I was choking down the slippery elm bark/golden seal/myrrh gum concoctions in the hopes of avoiding a penicillin shot to the butt, the neighbor girl was bragging about the bubble gum, or cherry, or grape flavored medicine she had and I invariably wound up nursing a sore buttock.

Somehow, when I got all growed up, I continued to have an interest in holistic health. I don’t put my kids thru the same concoctions, but when I lived in Florida, I was fortunate enough to find a pediatrician that was also a holistic health practitioner. She prescribed pharmaceuticals as a last resort.

Anyhoo, my dad has always been more into the holistic scene than my mother and has recently started a new kick. Now that we’re back in California and living with my parents I don’t have access to that kind of doctor with my HMO, I do, however, get to enjoy the benefits of my dad’s countless hours on the ‘net researching which stuff is best.

He and I were discussing various supplements yesterday and where we could acquire them when Gavin, my 3 year old decided to add to the discussion:

Gavin: You need to go to the doctor for those.

me: Oh you do?

Gavin: Yes, I read about it years ago.

gavin fair1

gavin at the home and garden show at the san diego county fair

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Fishing without a license

Went to the beach to swim (about 5:30p) tonight. It’s nice because we are two miles away, so to jump in before dinner is not a big deal. The waves were a bit choppy but we managed, one wave got me though….I was getting pummeled. I recovered, but once up I felt something wiggling in between the upper half of my suit. What the …..????? I looked down, two fish! I caught TWO. Fish. In. My. Swimsuit. Mom mode kicked in and I showed Brodey and he got to hold the fish and then release  -it was quite neat to see.

After all the excitement, we sat and watched our son play in the sand for about 15 minutes and then it was time to get home. My husband got Brodey bathed, I poured more into my wine glass (from earlier) and then checked email. Time to shower for me and then it happened….. I pulled my suit down in the tub and out flopped another fish! Are you kidding me? I screamed, not sure why?…but I was shocked…Oh my, how long have I been walking around with a fish in my suit, ew! We figured at least 45 minutes. Gross. (please save all your “smells like fish jokes” not interested)

We got rid of it properly though….thank goodness for boys!

[update] as you can tell by the extremely clean shower walls, this is kare-kare’s post, not pajama momma’s

Tummy Tuck Results

still got a pink bellybutton, but I’m very happy with the results

The lines you see below my bellybutton are from the brace I will have to wear for a couple more weeks. I don’t have any “before” photos of my stomach, but it looked very similar to this one.

I’d like to thank Dr. Dean DeRoberts of Aesthetic Center of Jacksonville. I could not have gotten better quality if I had a “surgeon to the stars”. You rock!

[UPDATE] For those of you curious, they took five pounds of fat and tissue off me. Hah, I was actually disapointed. I was sure I had like 12 lbs of fat there and was so excited thinking there was going to be this insane difference in the scale. Um, nope, not gonna happen.

This is what I looked like the day after my surgery.

This is why I got it done.

Love Letters

It’s old, but I’m PMS and craving some serious carbs right now.

Best Purchase Ever

So pjdaddy’s work had a booth at the local home show back in March. Home shows are evil because they make pjmomma want to spend lots of money.

Anyhoo, there was a booth there that had the Vita-mix. I love this blender. My mom had one of these when I was a teenager and they made the best fruit smoothie/protein shakes ever. Hers is the old school style.These things can liquefy anything. With the amount of ice I used to put in my protein shakes (now I just use frozen fruit) I would wear down the motor on regular blenders in about 6 months. I’m 35 now and this puppy still works. Can you even comprehend how many margaritas this thing has made?

My kids, pjdaddy and I decided to watch the demonstration they had going on. This woman rocked. You know she made everything look so easy. Lucky for me I’m old enough now to know I will be incapable of doing what she did with that blender, just like I know my hair will never look as good as it does the very day I come home from the hairdresser. It’s like some sort of rule, or law, or something.

But when that woman made a fruit sorbet and included cabbage in the mix and my kids actually freaking ate it, I knew right then I had to have that blender. I promised pjdaddy that there’d be fancy dinners every night for us and I just knew that I could sneak fruit and veggies into the kids’ diets without even one single death threat. He relented. Sucker.

I got that puppy home and bought all sorts of ingredients for all these soups and sauces and even the ingredients for ice cream. It is able to pulverize fruits and veggies so thoroughly that you can drink them as a juice. Which is better than a juicer because they remover the fiber. I’ve been able to make the best fruit smoothies. You know how on most blenders if you put a load in it that’s too hard to handle the motor will struggle determined to move the blade, but it won’t obey? I have been able to load the vitamix to the top with frozen, bulky items and it has no problem moving. It’s tamper really helps with that because it’s designed to be just long enough to get the food moving, but just short enough that it doesn’t hit the blades which, always freaked me out when I’d stick a knife in a standard blender to try to get stuff moving.

Oh I’ve made so many healthy soups with that thing. Sometimes healthy tastes like ass, other times healthy tastes good when you add cheddar cheese. I will confess not too many fancy dinners ever materialized as a result of the vitamix. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t consider soup a fancy dinner. Let me just tell you though, I’ve made a serious amount of ice cream with that thing. Hands down, chocolate ice cream is the best.

I would have blogged about this awesome, awesome blender sooner, but my mom reads this blog and I didn’t want her to know I spent such a disgusting amount of money on a blender. I hid it when she came to help me with my tummy tuck, but I got caught when the kids wanted her to make some ice cream. I know I still owe you that money mom, uh, checks in the mail?

Oh and one other thing I bought at the show that really, really kicks bootie are these microfiber cleaning cloths.They clean anything and everything and they do it well. I use them to clean the kitchen and bathroom counters, the stoves, the floor (they have a swiffer type hook up dealie for that and one to clean ceiling fans) the appliaces and my walls, not sure if you can imagine the amount of dirt damage four kids can do to a house, but the amount of handprints and footprints is insane.

Garren’s Checklist

Several times a day since I’ve had my tummy tuck my 4 year old Garren comes in to check on me, not out of concern, but curiosity, kinda like seeing a carnival freak show.

“Mom, can I see the bruise on your bootie?”

“Mom, can I see your blood thing?” (my stent drain)

“Mom can I see your new bellybutton?”

“Mom, can I see your gold tooth?” (not sure how my crown worked it’s way into this)

The day of the procedure I came home and the kids were dying to see me. Before they came in my room my mother warned them,  “Do NOT touch your mother because it will hurt her, she’s in pain.”

Garren’s standing over me going thru his checklist of things to see for the first time and he was just so cute I couldn’t resist cupping his little face in my hand. He said, “Mom! Don’t touch me! Are you in pain?” Poor kid thinks he’s the reason for my pain. (If he only knew)

Ok, gonna show some of my photos under the fold, if you’re squeamish don’t look. Any perverted comments about my backside will be deleted. Continue reading

Either Light Blogging For A While, Or Some Seriously Doped Up Blogging With Possibly Humiliating Results

Yep, I will be on drugs for the next week. Hopefully some good ones.

I’m tapping out. I’ve had my last child and I’ve decided to get myself a tummy tuck. Sometime tomorrow I will be knocked out cold, I will be a lifeless hunk of meat having my muscles sewn back together.  It seems my abdominal walls have separated after four kids and they just ain’t coming back together.

I hired a personal trainer for four months (going 4 days a week with her and cardio 7 days a week) last year and became extremely strong, but was unhappy because my stomach was just not getting the results I wanted, so I gave up. And then for various reasons I packed on some pounds this past winter.

Anyhoo, I checked out a plastic surgeon for the tuck and he told me I had diastasis recti. (that is not me in the photo) Most often this abdominal wall separation can be fixed by exercise, but I was not so lucky. I’ve lost 25 lbs since January this year, now only 20 and plan to go hardcore again after the tuck. Oh yeah and having  my abdominal walls put back together is supposed to be good for my lower back and I’ll go down a few dress sizes as well as being a flat belly girl again. sweet

Sometime tomorrow I’m going to be in pain. I freaking hate pain. I will want to cry. I won’t. Only emotional stuff does that to me. Pain makes me curse like a drunken sailor, you should see me during labor. I have a reputation. I actually have a reputation for two things during labor. They think I’m funny and I cuss. I had a nurse come in one time and say to me, “rumor has it out on the floor you’re really funny. So, say something funny.” Yeah lady, I can be real funny when approached like that.

Any of you guys want to volunteer to come over and empty my stent? Just joshin’. My mommy’s flying out tonight to help me with this. Thank you mummy. I know you’ll enjoy smacking me upside the head while I’m helpless for everything I put you through the past 35 years.

Oh and you know what? I’m going to get a completely new belly button. Isn’t that a trippy thought? He’s gonna pull my skin down and poke a hole in a new spot and create a bellybutton. So I will not have that little mole next to my bellybutton anymore. *sigh. I really liked my old bellybutton. I wonder if the hole for my belly button ring will be gone, or will it be moved down closer to my hoo hah? (no I will not get the new one pierced) I guess that’s where my little mole will go too. No, that can’t work cuz they’ll have to get rid of that old bellybutton hole. Oh this is weird. What if I get a blood clot because I’m not moving around enough and it kills me? Then I’ll leave my children motherless because I was vain. Gah!

I need to stop thinking about this. I swear I haven’t started my drugs yet.