I Answered The Phone, She Told Me You Were Gone

We’ve been together since I was born because our mom’s are best friends. You were exactly two months older than me. The first memory I have of us together is of you and me playing in my backyard. You kept calling me “Donna” because you couldn’t pronounce Shauna. I can’t believe you’re gone.

Do you remember all those Thanksgivings at the kids’ table? All us kids? We made such a mess. Remember mashed potato zits? Running around afterwards playing “hide and go seek” and tag? Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie! Who’s not ready holler aye!!! (I used to think it was apples, peach skins, pumpkin pie.)

Oh you were such a looker, the girls drooled over you. Just remember, I turned you down first. You asked me to be your girl and I said no because I was too scared that I would actually have to kiss you or sumpin.  I remember flashing my newly budding breasts at you a year later and what was your response? You looked, shrugged your shoulders and said, “My sister’s are bigger”.

You were my friend. Do you remember when you and Damian snuck out in the middle of the night and rode all the way across town to come see me? Remember setting off those fireworks and how I didn’t quite throw mine high enough and we had to duck and cover? Remember how it blew the finger off my glove? Do you remember when I used to watch you and Johnne skate for hours in the pool at that abandoned air force base? You were such an adventurous soul. Always doing something.

We had so many fun hours working at the egg ranch together. It’s because of you I used the word “Poontang” at the dinner table. I remember the forts you and the boys would build out of the egg crates. Hah, I also remember when the fort caught on fire because somebody decided to use a lighter to see inside.

Remember that time we got drunk at the church picnic from that box o’ wine? You and I laying side by side in the ice plant laughing our heads off. Our parents looking at us thinking we were such a pair of giggly heads. That is until you puked all over the stairwell at the youth center. I think that was the day you got “introduced” to Monsignor Dolan. 

                                                       

 

You were my pal. We were so goofy whenever we got together. I loved hanging out with my “boys”. Never a dull moment. Always skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding, dirt biking and getting into mischief. I thought you were so clever. You were certainly a leader. You made me laugh. You were my co-conspirator. I admired you.

We got older. Everyone started calling you Dan, but not me, you were still my Danny.  You went away to college and I stayed home for school. We each got married. I moved across the country. We only saw each other at family gatherings.  Even though we didn’t see each other as often as when we were kids, we were always able to pick up where we left off and have a good ole time when we did.

Marie, your wife, is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. Still not sure how you pulled that one off. Mom says she’s in shock right now. I’m in shock right now. I can’t believe you’re gone. I’m going to miss you and my heart is broken right now.

You remember how many times you cheated death? You remember when we were in your car and we lost control and spun out? You remember how that man came out of his house and threatened to kill you because of it? Boy was he mad. Or when we side-swiped a bridge guardrail on the way home from Knott’s Berry Farm because our driver fell asleep? We thought it was so funny to yell, ”CORN!” at random times the rest of the drive home to make sure he didn’t fall asleep again. You remember how you were camping and that jeep went off the road and came to a rest on it’s side just touching your tent?

I guess this time you just couldn’t cheat death.  I don’t know what that woman was doing when she lost control of her truck, but I’m glad you left this world on your dirt bike doing what you love. I’m so sorry for Marie, my Godparents and the rest of his family. What a rotten Mother’s Day for my Godmother.

I will forever miss you.   

Daniel John Krivitz 

2/25/1973-5/10/2008                                                                                                                    

pjmomma’s sick

that’s why I haven’t posted anything this week. lo siento mucho

UPDATE: The verdict is in, me and the kids all have strep throat……..niiiiiiiiiiiice

Happy 10th Birthday Graham!

Happy Birthday Graham. You are such a good boy. Such a wonderful addition to my life.

I’m so proud of you. Always on the “A/B” honor roll, always “A” citizenship. You’re a kind, sweet, sensitive boy, but you don’t let bullies kick your butt either, you’re tough like that.  I know you will grow up to be a wonderful man. And guess what? Just to embarrass you, I’m gonna say on here that you’re super duper handsome too! How do you like them apples huh?

oh and here’s the venus flytrap I promised you. see how much easier it would be to take care of this one than a real one?

Just kidding, I really ordered you one last night.

After Watching This Video, I Don’t Think I Can Ever Eat Another Vegetable Again

Warrior Diet be damned. This is just inhumane. I’m just going to have to put an extra shot of vodka in my bloody marys now to assuage my guilt.

 
Stolen from a comment thread on Ace’s

Miley Cyrus Photo Shoot- What You Didn’t See

hat tip kare-kare by fare-fare

Darn Good Music

NoFx- The Death of John Smith

Mudhoney- Let It Slide

*Sigh

I think Mommypie has just turned me into a country music fan.

 Cute song called, “Hot Mama” by Trace Adkins. Although it’s sweet to see him drool over his wife so much, at least once in this video I’d like to see him smack his kids upside the head.

[UPDATE] Now that I think about it, that guy doesn’t do jack to help his wife with the kids. What an ass. Who cares if he’s drooling over his wife? Help with the kids dammit!

Will I Use This Photo Against Him Later? You Betcha

Is he still on the floor? You betcha. I learned a long time ago not to mess with sleeping Gavins.

*poor kid has his mom’s fashion sense

bitchface and kare-kare, but mostly kare-kare cuz she’s the real bitchface

There’s a cockroach by my bedroom door

Interesting, it wasn’t there before

Giggles from another room

I wait, revenge won’t come too soon

I knock at the offender’s door

In goes the cockroach, much to her horror

The scope of my sister’s revenge I did not know

Until in my room, 1000 ladybugs did show

Those muther-effers bite

Why Can’t Pretty Girls Smile?

So I went to the zoo today for my daughter’s field trip. I parked and found my daughter in line and decided to observe her unnoticed. What I saw was the sweetest thing. It made my heart melt.

My 6 year old girl was standing forehead touching forehead with a little boy and they were making each other laugh and laugh. They adored each other.

Madeleine’s teacher came up to me and said, “that’s Wesley, that’s Madeleine’s boyfriend.” I said, it is? The teacher said, “well Wesley’s mom says she is, but that Madeleine doesn’t know she’s his girlfriend”. I told the teacher,  I wasn’t sure about that because I thought she liked Maxwell. The teacher said, “oh everybody likes Maxwell”.

Madeleine finally saw me and I went over to her. When Wesley found out who I was, he said to me a sentence I hope I’ll never forget. He looked me in the eyes and said so sweetly and so proudly of his girl, “Madeleine sure is a great joke teller”.

YES! YES! Oh that’s the greatest thing. Please, please Madeleine when you grow up, marry the boy that makes you laugh. The one that makes you happy. The one that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster when you find out he’s on his way home. I couldn’t ask for anything more for my girl. Don’t go for the boy that everyone wants, just because he’s pretty. Go for the one that brings you joy. Marry your friend. If he’s considered a “dork” by society’s standards, who cares sweetheart? Who cares?

I can think of few things more calming to the soul than laughter. Of course, as an over-thinker this got me going. I was at the zoo looking at all the pretty women there and every single one of them had something in common. They couldn’t smile. None of  them. The M.I.L.F’s, the 20 something’s that will grow up to be M.I.L.F’s and the teenagers all had the same pouty, miserable expression.

When did pouty become beautiful? The look of “yeah, I’m hot and you can’t have me” was so prevalent among them. Bleh. I actually feel sorry for them because they must not know the pleasure of laughing so hard your stomach aches. Of just……….guffawing.

What happened in our world that made our idea of beauty go from the happy pin-up girl to the stern angular faced models we have today?

Ah, nevermind. Doesn’t matter to me. I’m content here laughing my ass off.

smile damnit!